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Let's be honest: we've all blamed a bad date on Mercury Retrograde or a mismatched zodiac sign.

But have you ever considered that your love life is actually tanking because your bed is aligned with the bathroom door?

Welcome to the world of Feng Shui, where the position of your nightstand matters almost as much as your partner's ability to do the dishes.

"Your floor plan really can make a huge impact on your relationship," said Global Feng Shui Master Kelly McCloskey.

"Is it balanced, or does it support one person more than another? The form and orientation of your home can affect how at ease and harmonious someone can feel, and vice versa."

Watch: Gwyneth Paltrow is selling her old clothes and Holly's not okay. Post continues below.

Gwyneth Paltrow is selling her old clothes and Holly’s not okay | Mamamia Out Loud

Gwyneth Paltrow is selling her old clothes and Holly’s not okay | Mamamia Out Loud

According to Kelly, it's time to stop analysing your text threads and start looking at your furniture.

Your home isn't just a collection of walls; it's a silent "third party" in your relationship, and right now, it might be the one picking a fight.

The "Kitchen Fire" is real (and it's not just the oven).

white kitchen with bad feng shui red crockery
Keep the heat out of the kitchen! Image: Enhanced images provided by Feng Shui expert Kelly McCloskey.

If your Tuesday night debriefs often turn into heated debates, look at your kitchen. In Feng Shui, the kitchen is the ultimate "fire element," and according to Kelly, we're often accidentally turning the volume up way too high.

"The kitchen is the biggest offender," Kelly said. "If you're cooking, the fire of the home gets turned up, and hello to fiery family exchanges.

"The easiest fix? Keep the colour red out of the kitchen. We don't want to add any more fuel to the fire; otherwise, we may start a literal fire!"

Swap the red kettle or those "pop of colour" tea towels for something grounding. You want to simmer down the energy, not boil it over.

Your couch might be giving you anxiety.

Feng shui examples of couches good and bad
Left: not great, Right: Ideal couch vibes. Image: Enhanced images provided by Feng Shui expert Kelly McCloskey.

We've all seen those open-plan living rooms where the sofa sits smack-bang in the middle of the room, completely untethered. While it looks great in a magazine, it's actually a recipe for low-level "fight or flight" mode.

"A bad living room arrangement is having your sofa in the middle of the room with nothing supporting it," Kelly explained.

"To remedy it, place a console table behind it as a way to provide that 'support' we all need to feel safe."

Essentially, if your back is exposed, your nervous system can't fully switch off. Adding a console, a floor lamp, or a sturdy plant helps "catch" the energy (or Qi) and makes the room feel like a sanctuary rather than a transit zone.

The "manifestation" on your walls.

feng shui example of calm art
Your art needs to calm your farm. Image: Enhanced images provided by Feng Shui expert Kelly McCloskey.

Take a cold, hard look at your artwork. That moody, abstract piece of a raging storm might look chic, but it's likely messing with your mental health.

"I am a huge believer that what we look at, we manifest," said Kelly.

"Do you have relaxed images or are they more aggressive abstract art? Hanging an image of raging water is one to avoid; it isn't good for your mental health."

If you want a relationship that feels like a calm harbour, stop decorating your walls with visual chaos. Opt for art that feels grounded and peaceful, because your subconscious is taking notes every time you walk past.

The "AM/FM" frequency gap.

good red bird Feng Shui entry
Very zen balanced entry, arguably too big for two. Image: Enhanced images provided by Feng Shui expert Kelly McCloskey.

Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking two different languages? It might be the "connection gap" built into your floor plan.

Kelly noted that when a home's front and back doors aren't in alignment, the family members rarely are either.

"I think of it as the husband is on the AM frequency and the wife on the FM. Not only are they not hearing each other, but there is a lot of miscommunication."

While you probably can't move your front door this weekend, you can address the "wing" issue. If your house is so big that everyone has their own "wing," the family dynamic usually goes out the door.

If you can't shout from the kitchen and have everyone hear you, your home might be physically pulling you apart.

The five-minute relationship fix we CAN control.

cluttered room with washing everywhere bad feng shui
This, we can all do better… Image: Canva.

If you do one thing today?

"Cull the clutter," Kelly said.

"You cannot have a home that supports you if you are stepping over shoes to get in the door, your dining table is covered in mess, or your bedroom floor has half of your wardrobe on it. Be brutal. I promise your life will improve."

The "Jackpot" balance.

Photo of Feng Shui Master Kelly McCloskey c/o Luise Skibbe Photography.
Queen of Feng Shui Kelly. Image: Supplied by Kelly McCloskey c/o Luise Skibbe Photography.

Interestingly, Feng Shui suggests the right-hand side of the home represents the female and the left represents the male.

"If your home has the front door and hallway on the left-hand side and all the rooms on the right, the man of the home has hit the jackpot," Kelly explains. This imbalance can lead to one partner "kicking goals" while the other struggles to find their footing.

The takeaway?

Check the "Heart of the Home."

"Find your floor plan, draw two diagonal lines from the corners, and see where they meet. That centre point is where all the energy comes together."

If it's a cupboard or a laundry room? Clear it out. Make it open, make it inviting, and give your relationship a chance to actually breathe.

You can reach out to Global Feng Shui Master Kelly McCloskey on her website or on Instagram .

Feature Image: Getty.

Photos of houses: Enhanced images provided by Feng Shui expert Kelly McCloskey.

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Annaliese Todd

Lifestyle Producer

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