Saddle up, y'all, because Farmer Wants A Wife is officially back, and this is the pure, wholesome content I wait for every single year. 

Let's assess the country boys on offer this season.

We have Dylan, the rodeo cowboy who bucks horses for the thrill of it, and honestly, look at this cutie. Then there's Jarrad, our man from the Murray River, who is a single dad with two boys.

Alex immediately won me over by quoting Eminem with a casual "knees weak, arms are heavy," before revealing he is the show's first-ever mushroom farmer, describing fungi as weird and wonderful just like him. He's a creative, romantic soul who loves reading and writing.

Zac is sporty and "sweet as apple pie," looking visibly nervous and adorable, while Jason is a dairy farmer and dad of two whose beard already has the ladies absolutely feral. 

Watch: Farmer Wants A Wife 2026 teaser. Article continues after video.

The mission of this episode is simple: each farmer has to spend a little one-on-one time with their suitors and whittle them down to a final five to take back to the farm.

Watching these lightning-fast first dates is a wild, slightly cringe, but beautiful ride. Dylan's dates involved a strange amount of feeding. Kiara hand-fed him tiramisu right out of the gate, while Allie, who works at a chocolate factory, blindfolded him to make him guess flavours.

Maybe food really is the way to a man's heart.

The two of them bonded over their grandmas, but the cutest part? When she walked away, Dylan was grinning and blushing like a schoolboy while she did the classic rom-com look-back-and-wave. I'm loving every second of this interaction.

Renae then raised the bar even higher by bringing him a crochet horse that she made herself. These are some talented women! 

Over on Alex's dates, we discovered this man is a smooth operator who notices the fine details and compliments the ladies' outfits perfectly. From boots to dresses, he notices the small things. I see what you're doing here, sir. 

But things got interesting when Susannah literally picked a spider out of his hair. Now that is true love, because I could absolutely never. The moment an eight-legged creature sets up camp in a man's head, the date is officially over, and I am sprinting to the nearest exit.

He also dropped the bombshell that the favourite wedding he has ever seen is the one from Twilight. Now this is a man of absolute taste.

His date with Rachel was a bit of a bummer, though, because she casually mentioned she hates mushrooms, which is awkward considering he is a literal mushroom farmer.

Meanwhile, Jason's dates were wild. Jessica turned up and brought a padlock with their collective initials engraved on it for him, which is absolute unhinged behaviour, but honestly, shoot your shot girl. 

We also learnt that Jason plays social netball as a Goal Attack, and as a social netballer myself, I deeply appreciate this specific piece of sports lore.

He and Beth had such a lovely, calm energy and bonded over how hard it is to date when you have children. CUTE!

Then came Poppy, who explicitly does not see herself having kids. Since Jason wants more, you'd think that's a dealbreaker, but Jason admitted he's smitten and pondered how he would convince her to have them.

I'll be honest, I don't love that energy, Jase. Trying to change someone's mind on the whole creating-human-life thing is a bit of a red flag. 

But finally, the choices were made. Jason chose Beth, Logan, Jessica, Jessie, and Poppy. After his final picks, poor Bene almost fainted from the toxic cocktail of high adrenaline and Aussie heat, but she took it on the chin like a total champ and kept her sense of humour. Love this woman.

Alex picked Eddy, Delia, Suzannah, Gabbie, and Rachel, despite the mushroom hatred. Dylan locked in Lily, Tennille, Ally, Scarlett, and Renae. 

What a week! Many awkward and adorable interactions later, we have our chosen ladies heading to the farm. Pack your bags, girls, it's time to shovel some manure in the name of love. 

I can't wait until next ep, for Farmer Zac and Farmer Jarrad's choices! 

Feature Image: Seven Network.