Five years ago, I had a panic attack in the supermarket. Pretty sure I was staring at a bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup when feelings of mortal suffocation crept quickly to my throat. It was as if someone had snatched all the oxygen from the air, and you couldn’t have convinced me otherwise – I was going to die, right there, right then, in aisle five.
In fairness, the panic attack itself was entirely warranted. I was in a complete situational crisis, though the supermarket trigger was odd. But breakthroughs so often happen in unexpected places, and this was the kick up the arse I needed to finally get help.
Even if all the things I’d told myself were true – that pills would make me numb, a zombie, just bury problems, steal my personality – they were still preferable to *gestures vaguely towards the supermarket scene* this.
Watch: Birth trauma and the debilitating impact on physical and mental health. Post continues below.
While the adjustment period was rough, once the meds kicked in, they gave me a new lease on life. I started sleeping well, got a handle on my emotions, eradicated PMS, stopped having panic attacks, and started parenting way more patiently.
For half a decade, they provided a much-needed buffer between myself and the swirling bulls**t that afflicted my life.
They held my hand through the toughest moments I hope I’ll ever have to endure. And eventually, like shafts of sunlight slicing through clouds, I just didn’t feel like I needed them anymore^.