In the words of the dearly departed Honey Badger, wowee, Wednesday night’s premiere of The Bachelorette was a goodin’.
Aside from getting our first look at Ali Oetjen in the top spot, the first ep of The Bachelorette Australia had a bit of everything.
Sweaty palms. A knight. Pasta sauce. Poetry. Casual misogyny. A dance number set to beatboxing.
And this year, it also saw the introduction of the wild rose, a lovely plot twist conjured up by Osher, no doubt while he was waiting for Nick Cummins to sort out his feelings on The Bachelor.
To quickly recap, the wild rose symbolises an advantage awarded to the contestant that made the best impression on Ali during the first cocktail party. Once in possession of said rose, that man has the ability to hijack any single date, whenever he wants, to spend more time with Ali.
The lucky man to receive this privilege (and an incredibly awkward kiss) was Bill Goldsmith. Yes, the one whose opening conversation with Ali was turned into a transphobic nightmare.
You can watch the moment below. Post continues after video.
But Bill, we have some bad news for you.
Rather than opening a door, that wild rose just signed the death warrant on yours and Ali’s non-existent relationship.
You see, we need to draw your attention to the curse of the first rose. Not the first rose ceremony rose, but the first rose with a catchy name.
The first impression rose. The white rose. The double delight rose. And now, the wild rose.