In a normal year, I would see my family three to four times a year - perhaps more, if they come to visit me.
But nothing about 2020 is normal and... I miss my mum.
I'm an 'expat'; a New Zealander living in Australia for three years. Usually, I speak to my family daily through Facebook Messenger and cat memes, with a fairly long chat at least once or twice a week.
Side note: A thank you to masks, the versatile MVP of the pandemic. Post continues below video.
But over the last few months, those chats (although, not the cat memes) have dwindled.
It seems counterintuitive, given the current state of the world.
I should be talking to everyone back home more. The family group chat should be blowing up my phone, but it's been fairly quiet. My calls home have become more fragmented.
Because I don't know what to say. I don't know how to reconcile that hearing their voices over the phone or seeing their faces on FaceTime is as close as I am likely to get to them for God knows how long. The thought of it will wash over me mid-conversation about the rugby (yes, I am a walking stereotype), or mum telling me a ridiculous story about my little brother, whose car is hilariously unreliable. When it does, it's hard to remain on the line.