Every Monday night, for the past five weeks, I have visited a luxury resort in Hawaii called The White Lotus.
The guests are white and privileged and possibly a little bit murderous. And the staff are high on drugs and eating... a**e.
Binge and Foxtel's new dark comedy has almost filled the Mare of Easttown-shaped hole in my life. It's wickedly funny, anxiety inducing, and incredibly intriguing.
I don't think I've ever laughed and cried so much in a single scene as I did when Jennifer Coolidge's character Tanya McQuoid attempted to release her mother's ashes into the ocean.
And then she followed that up with a hilarious monologue about getting to the core of the onion.
But at the core of the (onion) show is the mystery surrounding the dead body being loaded into the plane for the return trip.
I'm desperate to know who dies in The White Lotus and who is responsible for their death.
So, here are all the theories about the mysterious White Lotus death:
I mean, this is the most obvious choice.
Rachel's new husband Shane is alone at the airport when the body bag is being loaded into the plane.
But Shane is a d*ck and Rachel is rapidly realising she's made a terrible mistake marrying him, so I'm thinking she went to Tahiti without him.