
NSFW: This article contains sexually explicit details and may not be appropriate for all readers
I’ve never really been able to get into porn. I can’t relate to some DD bouncing 19-year-old with a butt hole that can seemingly engulf a car, getting roughly gang-banged while writhing in pleasure.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy rough and dirty sex if the mood strikes. Butt play is a new highly pleasurable discovery for me. But hours of brutal anal sex to the point of rose budding? No, thank you.
In high school, porn set up some unrealistic expectations.
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And a large divide.
The guys were seriously into it. Meanwhile, us girls were reading Cosmopolitan, Mills & Boon, and Erica Jong — dreaming of romance, desire and suave men who would slowly let our long slinky dresses fall to the floor before ravishing us.
One of my close girlfriends confided that while her and her boyfriend had been engaging in heavy petting, he’d suddenly — without warning — fisted her. He was genuinely surprised she didn’t love it. And that it hurt. A lot.
When I started exploring BDSM and looking for a Dom, I avoided porn.
It didn’t reflect the way I fantasised about engaging or being sexually stimulated. So instead, I found myself on an online website for the kink community.
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Online sex has changed how I think about my body and my own sexual pleasure.
Firstly, there were active forums where I could read comments and find information. They answered questions such as: What makes a good Dom? How do you train a sub? What are the expectations on both sides? I could actively engage and participate at whatever level I wanted to.