real life

“My husband-to-be isn’t going to wear a wedding ring. And I’m completely fine with it.”

Please tell me someone else agrees?

I completely understand that for some people, wedding rings are very important. But we’ve never really been the traditional types, and that’s the way we like it.

My fiancé flat-out refuses to wear a wedding ring.

And you know what? I really couldn’t care less.

In fact, it had never even occurred to me that I was supposed to be NOT HAPPY about this until it came up in conversation with some friends recently.

This will NOT be happening.

I casually mentioned it to them, and they were shocked. Appalled. Aghast.

“How will women know he’s off the market?” one asked.

“Won’t you be worried everyone will be hitting on him?”

“Wedding rings tell people to ‘back off’. Won’t not wearing one make cheating that bit easier?” 

Related: So, the wedding is over…Now what?

And me? I was pretty bewildered.

Because how could my partner’s decision to wear a piece of metal on his finger – or not – have any deeper meaning? How could a ring have any serious effect on our relationship?

Now, I do understand that the wedding ring is supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment to each other etc. But it’s also just a ring.

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My fiancé’s father has never worn one, and his parent’s marriage is just fine.

My partner’s decision not to wear one is partly based on that family tradition, and partly because he is the handy and crazy-active type (so the ring would get in the way while he’s scuba diving or rock climbing or building furniture).

But the biggest reason of all? He just doesn’t feel comfortable wearing a piece of jewellery (this is a guy who wears thongs year-round and who considers cologne to be strictly for Special Occasions, after all). And I absolutely respect that.

Alexis and her fiancé.

If he tried to force me to do or wear something I felt deeply uncomfortable with, the people around me would be outraged. So there’s no way I would try to enforce ring-wearing on him, even if it did bother me.

Also, since when was a wedding ring a magical silver bullet to protect against infidelity and divorce? Never, that’s when.

I trust my partner completely, with or without a ring. But I also know that relationships are hard work, and of course things can go wrong – it’s just that I don’t believe wearing a ring will be the difference between wedded bliss and a divorce lawyer.

Related: Confession: “I plan to forcibly fake-tan my groom.”

I completely understand that for some people, wedding rings are very important. But we’ve never really been the traditional types, and that’s the way we like it.

Because the great thing about getting married in 2015 (or 2016, or whenever we get around to it…) is that now, people have the freedom to pick and choose which wedding and marriage traditions suit them. These days, we can do whatever the hell we want to.

Want to have a mega-hipster Vegas wedding? Go for it.

Hipster Vegas wedding, anyone?

Want to wear uber-trendy wedding shorts? You do you.

Want to elope to Ibiza, Tahiti, or Kathmandu? Enjoy that.

So no, I won’t be trying to force or guilt-trip my partner into wearing a ring. If it’s not his thing, it’s not his thing.

And that should be the end of the argument.

Over to you – would you care if your husband refused to wear a wedding ring? 

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