real life

The sex part of The Bachelor no one ever talks about.

This year’s Bachelorette.

As the new season of The Bachelor Australia launches on Channel Ten tonight, the latest US season of The Bachelorette just came to a close.

And in the final ‘After The Final Rose’ episode, where the contestants confront each other about stuff that happened during filming, one jilted guy finally did the thing that nobody has had the guts to do since the show started 12 years ago:

He talked about having sex on the show.

It may seem bizarre that it’s never been mentioned before, but The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise is one that has some very weird issues with sex. Sex between contestants and the leading man/lady is always implied, but never, ever confirmed.

When there’s about three contestants left in the competition, they are each offered the chance to spend the night in a ‘fantasy suite’ with the Bachelor/Bachelorette. This is the only part of the entire show that isn’t caught on camera. 

From a branding point of view, this is understandable; it would be hard to sell the winning couple as soul mates when one of them had slept with two other people just days earlier. But from a real-life point of view, it’s a little ridiculous; sexual chemistry is one of the most important things to consider when picking a partner, and the fact it isn’t spoken about on a show about people trying to pick a partner, feels disingenuous. 

But the veil was lifted last night, when Nick, the man who made it to the final two – but walked away the loser – on this year’s Bachelorette, confronted Bachelorette Andi about why she had sex with him, when she knew she wasn’t going to pick him.

The moment Nick asked Andi abut the night they spent together (ie DID IT).

It’s a little heartbreaking. Holding back tears, and barely able to look her in the eye, he quietly asks:

“Knowing how in love with you I was, if you weren’t in love with me, I’m just not sure why, why you made love with me?”

The audience is visibly shocked. As is Andi, who is clearly pissed off that he brought it up in front of everybody (and, you know, the millions of people watching at home), and chastises him for revealing something so ‘private’. Watch the moment here:

Social media went into a bit of a meltdown after that moment. Some people are saying that Nick should be ashamed for slut-shaming Andi. Others are saying that it was a fair enough question – he was genuinely heartbroken, and just looking for some clarity.

Either way, hear’s hoping that Nick’s decision to be honest opens the door for more genuine moments on the show. Sex is a thing that exists, people. And a show about consenting adults looking for love shouldn’t shy away from that.

Are you listening, Bachelor Australia?