I have two stories, and yes, they're both about rats.
Now, I'd like to preface this by saying I love all animals. Even bats.
But I think we can all agree that rats (and to a lesser, but still significant extent, mice) have a hidden agenda.
They always have somewhere to... be. And no one knows where. But they're going fast and their confidence is perplexing given that their tails are oily and their faces are horrifying.
Before we get into the rat stories, however, I need to get a few important points out of the way.