The best (and worst) Mile High Club horror stories for your reading pleasure.

Video by MWN

There is one group of people that make the lives of flight attendants particularly difficult.

No, it’s not the traveler who asks again and again for the air conditioning to be turned down (even when it’s out of their control), or the health freak who asks for a water refill for the up-tenth time, but those who seek membership to the Mile High Club.

For those unaware, the Mile High Club is the euphemism reserved for those that choose to engage in coitus mid-flight. AKA, probably the absolute worst way to have sex.

Done under a blanket in the very visible, open vicinity *shudders*, or behind the locked door of an in-flight bathroom, their tales of debauchery have been recorded by some very scarred flight attendants.

These are their stories.

Caught in the act.

For flight attendant for Air Asia and Quora user Nuralia Nazlan, it was a colleague that alerted her to the suspicious behaviour.

“Umm [Nuralia], could you help me? Can you check what is the passenger sitting at port over wing exit doing?” she asked, so Nuralia walked down the aisle before seeing a guy with a blanket spread across his thighs (dead giveaway) and an empty seat next to him which once held a “pretty brunette sitting next to him.”

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“I went a bit nearer to them. I could see the silhouette of her legs. But not her head. Or upper body. There was something bobbing up and down underneath the blanket,” described Nuralia.

LISTEN: Mia, Holly and Jessie talk plane etiquette on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues after audio.

To make matters worse, there were what she describes as “subtle weird noises,” with other passengers around them catching on that clearly the girl was giving him a blow job under the sheet.

Unfortunately the couple chose to engage in the act too close to ‘landing time’, which meant the cabin light went on full blast, and they were caught directly in the act.

“The girl couldn’t get her head out of the blanket fast enough and were greeted by a few glares from other passengers – especially the elder woman with her children a row behind them, having to witness (or listen) to their amorous business,” said Nuralia.

“It turned out to be a colleague of mine.”

For 30 year veteran on Lufthansa German Airlines, Sjaak Schulteis’ story is similar to Nuralia’s. It was after the dinner service and the cabin lights had been turned off, before one of Sjaak’s colleagues noticed someone’s head “moving up and down” under a blanket.

Despite this, what was more surprising was not what was happening under the blanket but who was doing it…

Annoyed flight attendant
Sex on planes... please.just.don't. Image via Getty.

"Even though this was remarkable enough, turned out that the moving part was a colleague of mine, flying on a private trip… what a trip it turned out to be!" he said.

However in the end his colleague couldn't bring themselves to interfere... and we're not sure we could have either.

"We have new members of the mile high club..."

Speaking on behalf of a friend, Tyler Liermann described a particularly harrowing tale, that summarises every single reason why you should never have sex on a plane. EVER.

When it became fairly obvious what this couple was doing in the air plane restroom a particularly fed-up flight attendant decided to utilise the fact the plane was beginning its landing and unceremoniously out the couple mid-romp.

"As the plane was beginning its decent for landing, [he said] “Please get into your seats and fasten your seat belts. We have new members of the mile high club.”

You can only imagine that walk of shame back to their seats down the crowded aisles. Yikes.

LISTEN: Mia Frredman interviews former tennis star Jelena Dokic about her career and unbreakable resolve.

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