Good lord, it’s that time of the year again.
Tonight, they come onto our screens as 11 single women and nine men, but if they play their cards right, they’ll leave the show as
minor, D-list influencers we mean… with the love of their lives.
Poppy’s husband ‘had an accident’ and fell into his co-worker’s vagina, and yes, MAFS is back. Post continues below.
The episode begins with our prospective husbands and wives who are placed together in some godforsaken Sydney Airbnb for their bucks and hens parties. Not only do we get to see the initial tensions play out but it gives us the chance to see who is going to be responsible for the #drama, before blaming things on ‘the editing’. So far Ivan, Hayley and ‘guy with an English accent’ are the frontrunners.
We also got to see the first two of our 10 couples get hitched. We have Poppy and Luke and Cathy and Josh. The experts want us to believe that Cathy and Josh will probably hit it off because they liked the smell of each other’s sweaty t-shirts – Mel said it was something to do with ‘pheromone compatibility,’ we remain sceptical – but also because they’re both objectively very attractive.
Poppy and Luke, on the other hand, barely made it to their wedding reception. Poppy freaks out because it just occurred to her that she’s had to leave her sons for this dodgy social experiment and she starts to panic. Although they’re both single parents, Poppy is the mother-of-twin boys who wants someone to be a father figure to her young sons and Luke is a FIFO worker… so that’s an issue. They also literally live in different states… but we’ll save that for another breakdown.
In a rather problematic plot twist, Poppy’s friend tells her to “stop looking cold,” so she drinks a lot and makes it to the end of the episode. And look… we won’t hold that against her.