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Good lord, it’s that time of the year again.

Married at First Sightis back and we are here to bear witness to the slow implosion of 10 couples who agreed to get married on national TV.

Tonight, they come onto our screens as 11 single women and nine men, but if they play their cards right, they’ll leave the show as

minor, D-list influencers

we mean… with the love of their lives.

Poppy’s husband ‘had an accident’ and fell into his co-worker’s vagina, and yes, MAFS is back. Post continues below.

The episode begins with our prospective husbands and wives who are placed together in some godforsaken Sydney Airbnb for their bucks and hens parties. Not only do we get to see the initial tensions play out but it gives us the chance to see who is going to be responsible for the #drama, before blaming things on ‘the editing’. So far Ivan, Hayley and ‘guy with an English accent’ are the frontrunners.

We also got to see the first two of our 10 couples get hitched. We have Poppy and Luke and Cathy and Josh. The experts want us to believe that Cathy and Josh will probably hit it off because they liked the smell of each other’s sweaty t-shirts – Mel said it was something to do with ‘pheromone compatibility,’ we remain sceptical – but also because they’re both objectively very attractive.

Poppy and Luke, on the other hand, barely made it to their wedding reception. Poppy freaks out because it just occurred to her that she’s had to leave her sons for this dodgy social experiment and she starts to panic. Although they’re both single parents, Poppy is the mother-of-twin boys who wants someone to be a father figure to her young sons and Luke is a FIFO worker… so that’s an issue. They also literally live in different states… but we’ll save that for another breakdown.

In a rather problematic plot twist, Poppy’s friend tells her to “stop looking cold,” so she drinks a lot and makes it to the end of the episode. And look… we won’t hold that against her.

In the words of the (almost) run-away bride herself: “this is crazy even for my standards”. And yes, this is exactly how we feel about this entire show.

This is how Australia reacted to the hot mess of a first episode.

Right now, Australia turns their collective evil eye towards her ex who tripped and fell into his co-worker’s vagina. #MAFS #MAFSAU

— Isobel Ardent (@isobelardent) February 3, 2020

MAFS IS BACK BABY!! Can’t wait to ruthlessly judge strangers on the telly for their poor life choices for the next 10 weeks while I drink on my own after microwaving a ready meal for one. #MAFSAU #Mafs

— Alana Calvert (@AlanaCalvert) February 3, 2020

Alright people. Let’s the #mafs season begin #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/AVh190OKyI

— Katie (@KatieMaree_88) February 3, 2020

And so we meet again #MAFSAU #MAFS pic.twitter.com/WdglCe23qz

— Perry (@pezlaz25) February 3, 2020

Single #MAFSAU mum: “When my twins were 6 weeks old, my husband had a terrible accident……..he tripped, fell and landed in his co-workers vagina.” Welcome back @MarriedAU

— Corey Norris (@coreynorris9) February 3, 2020

#EXCLUSIVE look at the testing machine used by the Experts #MAFSAU #MAFS pic.twitter.com/G4QALQmjci

— Ned Balme (@NedBalmeLives) February 3, 2020

People named ‘Ivan’ on Australian reality television. It’s too many to be a coincidence. #MAFS pic.twitter.com/ZAqKFGYkyO

— Jared Timms (@JaredTimms) February 3, 2020

“I want a girl with a bit more depth”

Bloke who said he’d rather cry in a Ferrari than a Datsun, 2020 #MAFS #MAFSAU

— bishcheese (@bishcheese) February 3, 2020

Is poppy ok? It’s been one day .. #MAFSAU

— foodwithSaj (@FoodwithSaj) February 3, 2020

Here’s to fixing each other’s tiaras not tearing them down… I see that lasting all of a few hours. But that’s a stretch… #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/u43oDvLtrq

— KLM (@xxkkatieexx) February 3, 2020

“Let’s not screw each other’s husbands!” ???? Lets see if they stick to that… #MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/WJbh0FuOxN

— popfixpodcast (@popfixpodcast) February 3, 2020

Experts: “So Luke what do you feel is your strongest quality?”….Luke: “Probably my ability to avoid falling into co workers vaginas”…..Experts: “Perfect!” #MAFS #MAFSAU

— Colonel Kickhead (@colonelkickhead) February 3, 2020

Ugh! Cut out all the family stuff unless we’re getting this #MAFS magic: pic.twitter.com/rPhSWoNnhu

— Unlucky (@unluckylingerie) February 3, 2020

“They liked the smell of each other’s tshirts”.???? OMG WTF #MAFS pic.twitter.com/clpi7EbB5j

— Netti (@470Netti) February 3, 2020

Josh: “I was known as ‘out every weekend Josh'”….that has to be the least catchy nickname I’ve ever heard #MAFS #MAFSAU

— Colonel Kickhead (@colonelkickhead) February 3, 2020

Producers: I’ve got a great idea for a TV show: ‘Lets get an emotional brittle woman, with 2 very little boys, put her on National TV, marry her to a bloke she has never met, who is away for long periods of time, & dont tell him her situation. What could go wrong? #MAFS #MAFSAU pic.twitter.com/fnogc49Hci

— Brizey68 (@BV2268) February 3, 2020

15,000 applicants and they can’t pair people from the same states? #MAFSAU #MAFS

— Sian (@Sian00734304) February 3, 2020

Have we got a runner already??