When Erin*, 33, first met Lara*, she never expected their relationship would turn into something romantic — nor that it would lead to a unique sexual experience formerly unknown to her.

Erin had dated only men previously, and after being introduced to Lara through a mutual uni friend, she says that they "just clicked" before "it then became something more." 

Fast-forward a few weeks and, amidst plenty of building sexual tension, something happened during their first real make-out session that took them both by surprise…

Watch: 5 unexpected ways women reach orgasm. Post continues below.

Erin orgasmed simply through kissing.

"It was the first time this had happened [to me] and it was after a few minutes of kissing," she said, noting that she experienced "the same feeling as a 'usual' orgasm, but with a different 'build up'."

Erin was "caught off guard" by the climax, noting she hadn't even realised this was something that could happen — outside, say, romantic books!

"We were both really surprised when it happened," she shared, noting it never did again after this, and that it wasn't a mutual experience in that Lara did not also climax just through making out. 

Erin believes the reason their make-out session led to an unforeseen and surprising orgasm was because of the chemistry the two shared at that moment — and generally.

'Passionate and sensual.'

"It was very passionate and sensual," she explained. "It was definitely to do with how attracted to her I was and the chemistry we had while kissing, which was amazing." 

This is something sex experts agree can contribute to orgasming through kissing alone. Immense chemistry, passion and shared anticipation can have a huge impact — particularly when we remember that the brain is the biggest sexual organ.

"Usually an orgasm from kissing occurs when there is brain-based arousal too, meaning the build-up of anticipation, longing and erotic charge around a kiss," explained Christine Rafe, Sex Therapist and Lovehoney's Sex and Relationship Expert.

"It is about the brain, the nervous system, and how safe, excited, and connected someone feels in the moment," added Certified Sex Therapist, Dr Viviana Coles. 

This mind-body connection can mean some of us are more likely to experience hands-free orgasms – in a similar way to when one might orgasm during sleep through erotic dreams.

"People who are more erotically responsive to anticipation, emotional intimacy, fantasy, novelty, or full-body sensation may be more likely to experience orgasm from kissing alone," noted Coles.

"Some nervous systems are simply more sensitive, and some people are better able to stay mentally present and let arousal build without interrupting it with self-consciousness or pressure. That does not make them better at sex or more sexually responsive in some universal way. It just means their arousal pattern happens to work that way."

Rafe adds that there are other 'contextual' factors which can result in it being more likely generally, including "hormonal cycles [and] stress levels."

A new expectation.

While the incident allowed Erin to enjoy a new sexual experience (and one she'd previously thought impossible), one of the key takeaways she reveals she took from it was her evolving standards when it comes to sex.

She certainly doesn't 'expect' to orgasm simply through kissing in future encounters, but the passion and connection she experienced in this scenario confirmed to her how she wants to feel with a prospective partner. 

"I now expect that level of sexual chemistry when it comes to sex. I'm looking for someone that can make me feel just as happy as that sexually," she explained.

She says that in particular (as someone who is predominantly dating men right now), this has raised the standards for men in the future she may have sex with, noting there have been times in the past where she's struggled to feel completely sexually satisfied.

She worries she'll never "feel that way towards a man," but added: "I hope so." 

Listen: Outlouders, buckle up for the steamiest sex dilemmas of the week. Post continues below.

While orgasming through kissing alone isn't unique to women loving women (WLW) sex, there may be something to be said for the safety and understanding women have with one another that can lead to it happening perhaps more easily.

"The orgasm gap between heterosexual women and women who have sex with women is well-documented," noted Rafe.

"Women consistently report higher rates of orgasm with other women than with male partners." Within this sexual dynamic, she said, "there is often less of a goal-oriented, penetration-as-the-main-event script, and more focus on kissing, eroticism and whole-body touch rather than just genital and penetrative sex."

"For many women, being with another woman can feel emotionally safer, less performative, and less rushed, which can make it easier for arousal to build," added Coles.

"There may also be more patience, more attention to subtle cues, and more willingness to stay in the sensual experience without pushing quickly toward a goal."

In short, she says, regardless of whether your partner is a woman, "when someone feels deeply seen and not pressured, their body may respond in ways that surprise them."

It's important to note that while Erin's story reflects the limitless breadth to which we can enjoy and understand pleasure (even in unexpected ways), being someone who's "not orgasming from kissing alone is more common than those who can," says Rafe. Nor is it ever something to worry about if it's not happened to you. 

"The vast majority of women and those with vulvas need external clitoral stimulation or combinations of two or more arousing stimulations, including kissing, body touch, genital touch, nipple play, penetration, fantasy etc. to have an orgasm," Rafe explained, noting that: "The conversation around orgasm has this unfortunate habit of ranking experiences, as if some are more 'advanced' than others, but that hierarchy is a socially constructed rather than the reality." 

"This should never be treated as the standard, the goal, or proof that someone is more sensual or more sexually healthy," added Coles.

"The real takeaway is not that everyone should be trying to orgasm from kissing, but that pleasure is personal and there is a wide range of normal."

*Names have been changed for anonymity 

Feature Image: Canva (Stock image for illustrative purposes only).