weddings

'I had cancer and my friend kicked me out of her wedding because I refused to wear a wig.'

Oh no. There’s another ‘my friend kicked me out of her bridal party’ story and this one is the LITERAL WORST.

Turning to Reddit for advice, our anonymous bridesmaid said she was thrilled to be asked to be part of the wedding of her friend, who she’s given the pseudonym Karen, about 18 months ago.

Unfortunately since then, the bridesmaid received some bad health-related news and had to undergo radiation and chemotherapy, which of course came with many side effects – including hair loss.

Uh oh. We share the worst requests we’ve ever received as a bridesmaid. Post continues below video.

Video by Mamamia

“My hair fell out and I am recovering but my hair is still very short,” the poster said. “I have also been very active in the survivor community and have been involved in fundraising and public speaking.”

She wrote that her friend Karen, a nurse, had been “super supportive” through it all, and was always around for a chat.

About two weeks ago, Karen called with a lovely idea: A day of pampering to celebrate the bridesmaid’s remission and end of treatment.

“We go to a spa which was super nice and enjoy some skin treatments, massages, and general pampering,” she wrote.

“At the end of the day she takes me to a special hair salon which specialises in high quality wigs. I am a little taken aback by this because Karen knows that a lot of the work I have been [doing] involves psychological treatment in cancer patients and avoiding the shame associated with hair loss for instance.

“I politely go through the appointment and even try on some wigs although I was quite upset honestly. I politely decline when she offers to pick one out and try to forget the whole ordeal.”

Then earlier this week, Karen called anon to tell her she could not be a bridesmaid anymore, because “the minister stated there are too many people in the bridal party”.

This came as a major shock, because the poster believed she and Karen were best friends.

So she did some investigating.

“I call around and although some of the other bridesmaids are reluctant to tell me anything, [they hinted] at the fact that Karen was worried about how the pictures are going to look with someone with a bald head.

ADVERTISEMENT

“I was so upset, I tried to call her but she did not respond.”

Anon said she was considering not attending the wedding, which is in two weeks, but understood it was the bride’s ‘special day’, so asked the Reddit community whether she was overreacting.

Long story short, no she is not.

“Wow that’s horrendous! I hate the fact bridesmaids are to some extent by some brides treated like props for photographs rather than what they should be. Which is as far as I’m concerned the brides closest most important friends and loved ones, to stand with them in support of the bride,” one person wrote.

“Congratulations on your remission. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Don’t let her bring you down with her attitude. I’d definitely be considering not attending the wedding and ending the friendship because she’s just being horrible and treating people like props.”

“If the bride were a true friend, she would be proud that you are a survivor and also proud to have you in her wedding as you are, sans wig,” said another. “Surround yourself with people who will value you for you! I wouldn’t bother going to the wedding, and I would consider this ‘sham’ of a friendship to be over.”

Anon said that although she appreciates the importance of wigs for some people, she would’ve felt hypocritical if she agreed to wear one.

“I feel confident with my look now and felt strange with the wigs on. Just didn’t feel like me. I could tell Karen really wanted me to like the wig and all she could talk about was how good we were all going to look.”

In now-deleted follow-up comments, anon said that after being questioned, Karen had reiterated that she was out of the wedding party because the minister said six is too many bridesmaids, but then… well, a bad situation got even worse:

“She went on to say that I have been really distant the past year and that I didn’t seem interested in helping her with the wedding which is why she decided to select me to be off the wedding party. She said she helped me a lot and that I’m not returning the favour by being a team player.

“She said that she knows I am going through a lot but that my personality ‘has changed’ and that I’m not the friend she knows from childhood. I’m still conflicted but she brought up the wig again, almost like [if I] wear it I can be back on the team. She didn’t actually say that but [it was] kind of a weird feeling I got. I think I’m done with her and I don’t think I can bring myself to go to the wedding. I thought she was a different person…”

Reddit users were supportive of her decision, and suggested anon spent the day pampering herself and celebrating her remission however she wanted.

“Congratulations and good job on getting into remission!” read one response. “Although I am not a cancer survivor, I’d like to thank you for all the time and energy you put into making others feel good about themselves during such a difficult time in their lives.”

00:00 / ???