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A definitive ranking of the ridiculous things you can buy from Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop gift guide.

Ah, yes.

It’s that time of year again.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle company, Goop, has released it’s annual Christmas gift guide and as expected, it’s just as ridiculous as last year. (Well, if not more ridiculous).

Remember that one time Gwyneth Paltrow ate Goop products with McDonald’s chips on Jimmy Fallon? Post continues after video.

In 2018, the controversial list included a banana-shaped lamp, a hot-air balloon ride over Mount Everest, and even an actual Spanish village.

And this time around, it’s no different.

The aptly named ‘Ridiculous but Awesome’ gift guide for 2019 features a ~luxury~ brass fire extinguisher, a flight suit training experience and an office chair that stimulates weightlessness… which sounds like a totally normal gift idea. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here’s our definitive ranking of the most utterly ridiculous things you can buy from Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop gift guide:

10. Dehydrated Caviar Bar, AU$144

goop gift guide 2019
Image: Supplied/Goop.

Erm, does caviar taste... better when it's dehydrated? (I don't know and I'm not willing to spend $144 to find out.)

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9. The Otto Automatic Joint Roller, AU$189

goop gift guide 2019
Image: Supplied/Goop.

Ah, yes.

An automatic joint roller.

Here's what it does, according to Goop: "Not only does it grind and weed out – see what we did there? – seeds and stems, it automatically rolls the perfect cone-shaped joint, at the push of a very simple button. Talk about efficiency."

Imagine spending $189 for something you can do... with your own hands.

via GIPHY

8. Luxe Brass Fire Extinguisher, AU$364

goop gift guide 2019
Image: Supplied/Goop.

Oh. It's a fire extinguisher... for rich people.

"Because yes, even something as practical and purposeful as say, a fire extinguisher, can skew sexy," the description reads on Goop.

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...Right.

(Also, does anyone really want to open a brass fire extinguisher on Christmas Day?)

7. The Double 570 Offset Smoker, AU$48,000

goop gift guide 2019
Image: Supplied/Goop.

Look, we get it.

Smoked meat is the bomb.

But is a $48,000 custom smoker really necessary?

6. Flight Suit Training, AU$9,300

goop gift guide 2019
Image: Supplied/Goop.

The pictures alone for this experience are entirely ridiculous.

But if you've ever wanted to be just like Tony Stark, you can experience a jet suit flight for just $9,300.

No. Just... no.

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5. Gravity Balans Chair, AU$2,900

goop gift guide 2019
Image: Supplied/Goop.

"Experience ultimate relaxation and weightlessness with the Gravity," reads the description of this product.

"Fully reclined, the Gravity elevates your legs above your heart, and rocks gently to the rhythm of your breathing. Leaning forward, it can be used as a kneeling chair," it continues. (Whatever that means).

"This unique combination makes it the ideal chair for the contemporary home and work environment."

via GIPHY

WHY IS A CHAIR THAT SIMULATES WEIGHTLESSNESS NECESSARY???

4. Custom Plant Music Installation, AU$36,000

goop gift guide 2019
Image: Supplied/Goop.

Custom plant music installation, which will set you back around $36,000, is exactly what it sounds like.

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Plants. That. Sing.

Essentially, the service creates an ~immersive plant music experience~ as plant music devices called PlantWave are attached to a number of your plants.

Seems legit.

On this episode of The Spill host Laura and Kee break down their favourite items of the Goop Gift Guide... Post continues below audio.

3. Custom Family Documentary, AU$109,000

This gift involves having two photographers accompany you on a family trip to document the whole thing before turning it into an elaborate, individually tailored book.

Yes, really.

Why does... anybody need this? JUST TAKE PHOTOS ON YOUR PHONE, IT'S FREE.

2. Modular Prefab Home, AU$160,000

goop gift guide 2019
Image: Supplied/Goop.

Yep, you really can buy a real-life treehouse.

And did we mention it's actually a lot cheaper than buying a Sydney apartment?

Honestly, we're not surprised.

1. Reserve A Seat To Space, AU$360,000

Last year, Goop included an actual hot-air balloon ride over Mount Everest in their annual Christmas gift guide.

This year, however, they're spruiking AN ACTUAL TRIP TO SPACE.

For just AU$360,000, you can reserve a seat to space with Virgin Galactic... which sounds like a totally reasonable gift to buy your cousin this Christmas. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Feature Image: Instagram/@gwynethpaltrow/Goop

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