dating

A man messaged a woman after they had sex on a date. When she read it, she was revolted.

What do you do when a man you’ve shagged sends you a message about your weight that leaves you floored? You turn to the internet for help in coming up with a reply.

A woman calling herself WigglyBraddins, who says she is 175cm tall and a size 12, posted on UK website Mumsnet about a message from a “gentleman” she’d had a “recent liaison” with.

“Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did,” the man wrote.

“But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women. I can’t help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far.”

The man went on to say he hated the idea of men dictating to women what they should look like, and he wasn’t telling her to do anything. But he kind of was.

“If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think,” he added.

“Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really f— women up, but as I say, I can’t help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh.”

WigglyBraddins said suggestions for an appropriate response “would be very much appreciated”. She got them.

Modern dating is an absolute minefield, we translate what some of it means.

Video by MMC

Many suggested a one-line reply.

“‘Aww, bless,’ is great,” one wrote. “Or, ‘F— off.’ But I think ‘Aww, bless,’ is my favourite. It’s a putdown and an insult.”

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There were plenty of others.

“I choose cake,” suggested another woman.

“I am genuinely embarrassed for you,” offered another.

“Hey we all lower our personal standards occasionally,” wrote someone else. “Well, I certainly did…”

Numerous women thought she should reply with a message along the same lines as his, but referring to the size of his penis.

“I am so glad you feel this way as, urgh, I have to be honest, I am really attracted to moderately or well endowed men, at least almost average,” read one suggested reply. “I can’t help it. I understand nature wasn’t exactly kind in this respect and understand if you are hurt by this. I am so sorry. I know this issue can really f— men up, but as I say, I can’t help what I like. I do wish you luck finding a partner who can accept your tiny c—.”

Others thought she shouldn’t respond at all. Some said they’d been sent similar messages before.

“Your liaison dude isn’t a postman, is he?’ one asked.

Some suggested he was “negging” her, and that the message was the kind of thing circulated among Men’s Rights Activist types.

“I think you’ve had a lucky escape here,” a woman advised her.

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. WigglyBraddins was much cheered by all the responses from other women. Inspired, she took action.

“I ate cake while deleting the thread and blocking him,” she reported.

What would you have done in this situation? Tell us in a comment below.

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