real life

The question everyone is wondering when a bisexual woman marries a man.


What do Anna Paquin, Missy Higgins, and Sia Furler have in common? Besides fame, beauty, and talent.

They’re openly bisexual. And all three of them are in monogamous relationships with men.

Anna Paquin has been married to her True Blood co-star Stephen Moyer since 2010. Missy Higgins is engaged to musician Dan Lee, and she’s pregnant with his baby. Sia Furler got secret-married to Erik Anders Lang on Saturday.

But married bisexual women seem to confuse a lot of people.

But I thought Missy Higgins was a lesbian? How can Sia be bisexual, if she’s married to a man? Does that mean Anna Paquin chose to be straight? Can we use this to prove that bisexuality isn’t really a thing?

Anna Paquin cleared that up for confused people everywhere when she spoke to TV chat show host Larry King last week.

Because it seems 80-year-old King is the most confused of all when it comes to bisexual women married to men. In an interview with 32-year-old married bisexual actress Anna Paquin, he asked whether she was a “non-practicing bisexual”.

That is, has she stopped being bisexual because she’s married to a guy? Or does she still sleep with women?

Larry King.

Paquin barely batted an eyelid. She responded, coolly: “Well, I mean, I am married to my husband, and we are happily, monogamously married.”

“But you were bisexual?” King continued. Like bisexuality is something you can simply give up.

“I don’t think it’s a past tense thing,” Paquin said. “Are you still straight if you’re with somebody? Doesn’t mean you’re not, if you were to break up with them or you were to die. It doesn’t prevent your sexuality from existing. It doesn’t really work like that.”

So, monogamy is monogamy is monogamy.

When a bisexual woman chooses to marry a straight man, she’s choosing that one person as her partner. Together they make an active decision to be monogamous, like any other couple. It doesn’t necessarily mean she stops being attracted to women (just like it doesn’t guarantee that he will not be attracted to other people). She, like any other married person, simply chooses to be exclusive with one other human.

When Missy Higgins got engaged to Dan Lee, she chose him.

When Sia got married to Erik Anders Lang over the weekend, she chose him.

When Anna Paquin got married and had kids, she chose that life.

So did openly bisexual actress Angelina Jolie. And Megan Fox. And Evan Rachel Wood. And Drew Barrymore.

Marriage doesn’t erase bisexuality. It’s just an institution of heterosexual monogamy these women choose to live.