Would you like a threesome with your bananas?

 

 

 

I’ve always thought of the supermarket as quite an unglamourous place. Probably because it is, really. It’s somewhere you really don’t need to make an effort. Like the gym. No one really cares what you look like, right? Well, that’s the perception that I grew up with. My mum used to complain incessantly about having to ‘do the food shop’. And, it probably reflects in the way I deal with it too, as an evening last week I rocked up in my track pants and a knackered old t-shirt, after the gym, ready to shop.

And, that’s why it was what happened at the checkout that was a surprise. My flat mate and I were loading up the conveyor when the checkout boy said, “can I just ask you a question?”

“Yup?”

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“Would you like a threesome?”

Now, working for Mamamia, and attending editorial meetings about, let’s say, anal bleaching or man cleavage, I thought I was pretty well equipped for anything the world could throw at me. Well no, this was a new one. And, inside, my brain is crying out “SAY SOMETHING WITTY!” or “What would they do on Desperate Housewives?

“Does that mean we can get a discount?”

NO! Now he thinks we’re interested, God. This isn’t going well.

My flat mate gallantly came to the rescue and negotiated vouchers for schools in exchange for a Facebook add (once a salesperson, always a salesperson!) and in the meantime, I couldn’t help but think. Since when has this become normal? I look at the dude stood behind me in the queue (a rather hot looking Bondi-type who was looking a little bit confused, angry and scared) and give him the raised-eyebrow “you sure you want to be in this line?” look. He definitely didn’t think it was normal.

I finish putting my shopping through and have an awkward exchange with the checkout dude. He writes his name on the receipt and says “add me!”

Still rather miffed and now going over all the cool things that I could have said, I did a quick poll of my friends while Tom counted up the schools vouchers (we weigh in at a mighty $90 – we did it for your climbing frame, kids!). Most of them just found it funny, which let’s face it. It is.

The checkout boy was never added, however. We came to the conclusion he must watch too much porn to think that that’s an appropriate come on. We also came to the conclusion that in this particular supermarket, that it’s not just the prices that go “down down!”

What’s the most inappropriate question you’ve been asked in public? And how did you react?

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