William and Kate’s past lovers have been invited to the Royal Wedding. Bags being on that table.
Lord I hope the sound engineers have the sense to hit mute on Prince William’s microphone when Kate Middleton walks down the aisle on April 29. Otherwise when Wills finally turns around to see his beautiful bride it’s entirely possible the words “Fuckity Fuck Fuck” will fly out of his mouth when he notices every single one of his ex girlfriends death-staring him from the congregation.
That’s right. Somewhere between four and ten (depending on which UK newspaper you read) of William’s exes have reportedly been invited. And – hello? – as if they’re not going to go. And wear white. Meanwhile – possibly in retaliation – Kate as invited two of her old flames. Is this wedding reception suicide?
The Mail Online reports:
Prince William and Kate Middleton have invited a total of six of their ex-partners to the royal wedding. While the Prince of Wales embraced the worlds of high finance and international politics when sending invitations, the 250 guests jointly chosen by the Royal couple, together with the 100 guests invited by Kate’s parents, include a football club chairman, a famous comedian, a yoga teacher – and all of William’s ex-girlfriends, along with two of Kate’s rumoured former flames.
So it got me thinking about exes in general. And running into them at, say, your wedding. Or on your honeymoon. Or in the confessional at church.
Don’t laugh. It happened to my friend Anna. One minute she was taking communion and thinking the new Parish Priest looked vaguely familiar. The next she was choking on her wafer realising that as teenagers the two of them had “gone the pash” at a local Blue Light Disco.
Then there’s Katie who has dated no less than four of her workmates (I KNOW) and at one stage had to sit in a meeting with all of them. Together. At once. That’s what you call, what’s the word? – oh yes A NIGHTMARE. As another friend wisely reminded her, “Don’t find yo honey where you make yo money”.
And how about Sally who chose an exclusive Fijian resort for her honeymoon – the type that only accommodate six couples at a time. Sounds perfect and it is … unless one of the other couples consists of your husband’s ex-girlfriend and her new husband. Excellent. Not really. Ever. At all.
So where and when have you run into an ex? Was it okay or horribly awkward? And did you or would you invite them to your wedding?
(Pssst- it is Rebecca Sparrow’s birthday today – so leave her some birthday love in the comments below!)
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