In an era of ghosting, it’s a rarity find a partner who’ll go through the awkward rigmarole of actually breaking up with you.
Week upon week of ignored texts and ‘seen’ Facebook messages can leave you praying for an uncomfortable coffee date and George Costanza-esque excuse to put you out of your misery.
Thankfully some people still have the common decency to humiliate you with a petty justification and an insincere apology.
“I just love you too much,” one Mamamia staff member was told.
Another was told she was too “career-driven”. She was in Year 7.
Together, the team delved into the depths of past heartbreaks and compiled a list of the most ridiculous reasons we’ve found ourselves suddenly staring down the barrel of singledom.
From being too flat-chested to being replaced by a doppelgänger with the same name, we’ve been dumped by some truly inventive a-holes.
One lucky staffer was cast aside because of discerning pet dog:
“He said it was because his dog never liked me and his dog was never wrong about people.”
Who said romance is dead?
If you need more dump-spiration, 23 Whisper users shared the dumbest excuses they’ve heard: