This year, as with every year, fashion did its thing.
We had the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. On the flipside of the Amal-Clooney-Goddess coin, the high-waisted movement continued its terror reign and Groucho-Marx eyebrows showed no signs of slowing down.
We’re not here to judge – you’ve gotta let the fashion machine do its thing – but we ARE counting down the fashion trends we’re happy to wave off into 2016.
I’m not sure that I really need to explain my aversion to anything involving the word ‘mullet’, but here’s a good try: mullet dresses make no sense. It’s a party in the front and a pain in the a$$ in the back. Anyone who has worn one of these will testify to getting the tail end stuck in doors, caught in heels, and dipped in loos all the time.
This year, I paid $180 for a plain black t-shirt. Nothin’ special. It was a normal, square, black t-shirt. Because ~fashion.
I blame Yeezy, king of the bike pants.
Ok, so here’s some basic design logic: if you tie something around your arm, then attach it to your dress, it’s very, very difficult to move your arms.
For every fair-browed maiden in the land, 2015 saw us tinting, dying, filling, and pencilling our eyebrows like Susie Maroney circa 1992. Time to claim our faces back, I say. I miss the days before we all looked like Agro from Agro’s Cartoon Connection.
In theory? I dig this look. I love a matte black lip. But in practice – and without the deft hand of a celebrity makeup artist – wearing black lipstick is like holding a glass of red wine and playing Twister on new white carpet. It just doesn’t end well unless you stay completely motionless.
THE SHEER MICRO/MAXI
Is it short? Is it long? Formal wear or beach attire?
SUPER HIGH CUT ONE-PIECE BATHERS
There is one woman in the world who was able to work the high-cut bathers and that woman was Jamie Lee Curtis in ‘Perfect’. Jamie Lee Curtis is now 57 and so is that style. Do we really need to embrace a style that requires a bikini wax every 20 minutes?
HIGH WAISTED BIKINIS
Here’s a home truth: high waisted bikinis look good on around 0.001% of the population.
You know, the first time I spotted one of these oversized felt fedoras, I was all like – “Yeah! Awesome! That’s exactly what the world needs!”…but the longer they stuck around, and the more I saw them crop up trackside and beachside, I’ve changed my mind. No one can see!!
OVER THE KNEE BOOTS
I want to like them. Really, I do. I even tried my very best to be OK with wearing them over skinny jeans with a jumper in the colder months but they just don’t work.
DYED ARMPIT HAIR
I loved the message. I loved the sentiment. Heck, I even loved the colours. But I just can’t shake the smell of patchouli and B.O. from my mind.
What do you think were the worst fashion trends for 2015?