This year, as with every year, fashion did its thing.
We had the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. On the flipside of the Amal-Clooney-Goddess coin, the high-waisted movement continued its terror reign and Groucho-Marx eyebrows showed no signs of slowing down.
We’re not here to judge – you’ve gotta let the fashion machine do its thing – but we ARE counting down the fashion trends we’re happy to wave off into 2016.
I’m not sure that I really need to explain my aversion to anything involving the word ‘mullet’, but here’s a good try: mullet dresses make no sense. It’s a party in the front and a pain in the a$$ in the back. Anyone who has worn one of these will testify to getting the tail end stuck in doors, caught in heels, and dipped in loos all the time.
This year, I paid $180 for a plain black t-shirt. Nothin’ special. It was a normal, square, black t-shirt. Because ~fashion.
I blame Yeezy, king of the bike pants.
Ok, so here’s some basic design logic: if you tie something around your arm, then attach it to your dress, it’s very, very difficult to move your arms.
For every fair-browed maiden in the land, 2015 saw us tinting, dying, filling, and pencilling our eyebrows like Susie Maroney circa 1992. Time to claim our faces back, I say. I miss the days before we all looked like Agro from Agro’s Cartoon Connection.
In theory? I dig this look. I love a matte black lip. But in practice – and without the deft hand of a celebrity makeup artist – wearing black lipstick is like holding a glass of red wine and playing Twister on new white carpet. It just doesn’t end well unless you stay completely motionless.