Dear Bridezillas everywhere,
You’ve reached peak level hysteria, and we all think that’s enough, now.
Getting married is not a free pass to demand $1500 cash contributions from each guest, to ask people you’ve invited to pay for their own meals, to require your friends to compete for a spot in your bridal party, to lose your sh*t if someone announces their engagement or pregnancy within an entire year of your ‘big day’, or to dictate what your guests wear according to their weight.
These unreasonably high expectations are mean-spirited, childish, selfish, and goddamn ridiculous. (Although, also extremely entertaining to the rest of the world.)
It’s wholly ironic that an event which is supposed to be about love has become, thanks to you, all about highly conditional love and acceptance of the people in your life. And tantrums.
When I read about your demands, which go viral on a weekly basis, in direct proportion to how outrageous they are, I think you are narcissists incapable of compromise, and spoilt women who don’t care about whether their guests enjoy the occasion or not. I don’t feel, ‘Oh, wow, this chick knows what she wants, and her ideas will make for a beautiful testament to her enduring relationship’.
No, I don’t hear glorious wedding bells – I hear alarm bells.
I think, this cannot end well.
Let me tell you a story.
There was once a girl who was so low key about her wedding that the driver she hired to take her to the event did not know she was the bride, she was so relaxed. This chick was so laid back about it all, she just wanted to throw a huge party with her man for all their family and friends. So, they didn’t make an entrance, but were at the venue when the guests arrived. There was no bridal party. There was no choreographed wedding dance.
Not that having those things are bad – not at all – but the less details meant the woman was a bridechilla, not a bridezilla. And yes, she was me. (And no, this story is not just an excuse to talk about how awesome I am – that’s just a bonus.)
If the bride hasn’t specified your outfit colour already, can you wear white?