Kids on planes suck, right?
There is nothing worse.
Those sweaty little bodies, germy and foul running amok.
The high-pitched screaming of those inconsiderate babies.
Makes you want to plug your ears with the complimentary ear plugs (except you have to be in business class to get them.)
The kids should be banned from planes. They should travel by bus. Hell, make ‘em walk.
We’ve all heard it before.
We know that kids on planes are among the most hated group of humans on the planet.
We know that once you become a parent and you decide to travel the only way you will be socially accepted is to create those little goodie bags of sweets and ear plugs and valium and hand them around when you board along with a note you pretend your two-month old has written.
But the fact is that parents DO travel – and they take their kids with them and fellow passengers just have to suck it up – or travel first class where the only kids they will meet are the likes of Mariah Carey’s little duo.
Who, I am sure are delightful.
Just this past week the hashtag #Childfreeflights has been trending after a British journalist (and mother-of-one) went on a morning talk show and called for planes to establish "child-free” flights, where kids are black-listed.
Kind of like adults-only planes but without the kinky stuff.
Well, I for one am sick of these calls.
What’s so wrong with kids on planes that a grown adult can’t just recline their seat, stick in their complimentary earplugs and enjoy some Broken Bad re-runs?
There are tons of things worse than kids on planes – and many more hashtags I would prefer to get trending.
How can you complain about the sweet almost lamb-like cry of a newborn when you can hardly hear it over the congested wheezing of a middle-aged man’s nostrils?
The flailed nostrils, the choking gasp. Each and every snort accompanied by the echo of a snot just waiting to be exhaled.
2. Brightly lit iPads at night.
Once again, unless you are up the pointy end those snug-as-a-bug eye masks don’t seem to be handed out in designer gift bags anymore do they? And who remembers to actually bring their own?
There is nothing quite as torturous as trying to sleep and having a halo of ultra bright light shining in your eyes from the guy across the aisle’s iPad playing Candy Crush right through the darkeness.
3. Drunken obnoxious businessmen.