Sometimes life as a working mum is hard. This week is one of those times.
My son went ballistic this week. Actually, no, I should correct that – BOTH my sons went ballistic this week.
I’ve been working a lot. Actually, no, I should correct that too – I have been working insane amounts that have basically run me into the ground. And I mean that quite literally because I am sick today.
From the time I was born I have refused to say no. I am stubbornly determined and this admirable yet annoying trait has followed me into adulthood. I never settle, not with my family, not with my friends and especially not in my career.
And because I had my kids young it meant I have, quite literally, never known anything else but being a working mum and for the most part, I wouldn’t take any of it back.
That is until I have a week like I’ve had this past week.
Before I go on I need to make some confessions:
I am the mum on her phone at the park.
I am the mum ignoring her kids to finish a deadline.
I am the mum who literally does not sleep because she has to work.
I am the working mum.
I am the studying mum.
I am the bridesmaid to one of my best friend's who can’t show up to any bridal appointments because she is so busy.
I am the mum who insists on volunteering at school so her son sees her there but she really doesn’t have the time and probably does it all wrong anyway.
I am the mum on her phone. Always. (Just emphasising this one….those who know me understand the need for this point twice.)
I am all of those things, and for the most part I honestly don’t mind being those things.
I don’t mind it because I love my work. I’m proud of my career and I see a long future in this career I love.
But I do mind it when my kids go absolutely crazy at me. And I don’t mean crazy like regular 6-year-old smartarse-ness. I mean crazy like sobbing and screaming at me, begging from the bottom of their little adorable hearts.
“MUMMMMMM why are you working again? Why do you work? Why are you on your phone? MUMMMM put your phone down. MUM. MUM. MUM. Are you even listening to me?”
And then, the absolute killer.