For a brief but depressing period I was employed at a swimwear store.
It wasn’t a fancy boutique, but they stocked all the well known brands in a range of different styles.
The building was enormous, with wall to wall bikinis, tankinis, fancy one-pieces to sip mojitos in, baby bathers, budgie smugglers, man-trunks and your classic serious, sporty racing togs — basically, the place was hell on earth.
I am a firm believer that acquiring a bikini body for Summer takes one step: put a bikini on your body.
Sadly however, sometimes finding the bathing suit that best fits your body requires entering an ill-lit changing room with a pile of bikinis so large, you ‘d be forgiven for wanting to string them all together to hang yourself.
Here’s what I learned from working in a swimwear shop one horrible Summer:
1. Nobody likes shopping for bathers.
You may think it’s just you, but truth be told, most people find shopping for togs confronting.
Even when you’re feeling great about your body, whether you’re super fit or comfy just as you are, sometimes staring at your bum from five angles under a set of harsh fluorescent lights will still reduce you to tears.
And that’s okay. In fact, it brings me to my next point.
Listen to Jo talk about her experience on the latest episode of Mamamia OutLoud:
Listen to the full episode here.
2. It’s okay to have a meltdown.
It’s normal to have insecurities about your body, especially when it hasn’t seen the light of day for months. Or you’ve just had a baby. Or you look up at the glowing swimwear model, with her freshly bleached teeth and digitally enhanced thigh-gap staring down at you from the wall.
It’s absurd, because you are clearly a beautiful goddess, but sometimes it happens and it’s totally normal.
Just remember what I said though: You are a beautiful goddess and once you make it to the beach and feel the sand beneath your toes, it won’t matter what the f*ck you’re wearing.
3. Never go bathers shopping with your mother.
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that shopping with your mum is sometimes rough.
Even the most well-meaning mother can have an knack for picking the worst possible option from the rack of clothes or accidentally pointing out the 5kgs you hadn’t noticed gaining.