Anyone who is planning a wedding – or is close to someone who is engaged – can understand the, erm,stressthat comes with planning such a huge event.

In addition to the headache that comes with organising a wedding, comes the often overwhelming cost of said day. The median cost of an Australian wedding in 2019, according to Wedded Wonderland, is a whopping $53,168. Just let that sink in.

From three-course sit-down meals to expensive photography, it’s fair to say that weddings aren’t exactly cheap – which is why we all go about planning our special days in such different ways.

Many people choose to splurge in some areas (for example, their dream wedding dress), and make cuts in others to compensate for what they consider a high priority. There’s no ‘right’ way to have a wedding. It’s completely subjective. Which is why we’re all so nosy to see how much others have spent on their big days (just us?)

We spoke to seven women to see just how much they spent on their wedding – from the cake to their wedding dress – and asked: was it all worth it and is there anything they’d do differently in hindsight?

We asked 7 women exactly how much they spent on their wedding.

Sadie:

Explain the vision you and your partner had for your wedding?

When my husband and I decided to get married, we knew it was going to be tricky as his family lives in the UK and mine live here. We knew we wanted our families to be present for our big day, but we also knew that logistically it was going to be painful. I am not a frilly girly type of woman and his tastes are not flamboyant, so there were no plans for a big white wedding, but the conundrum was how to find some middle ground for us both.

Initially, my husband and I both decided that we wanted a wedding down the Great Ocean Road, but even though we tried to keep it low key, the costs started to mount up very quickly with accommodation, a reception venue, the cake, flowers, the dress and all of the other costs that mount up with a wedding. As soon as you mention the word “wedding” businesses think “ka-ching” and add a twenty per cent margin to gouge the happy couple! In the end, we were both so unhappy with what our wedding was shaping up to be, my husband suggested that we “run away and get married”.

How much did you and your partner budget for your wedding?

We ended up flying to Fiji and getting married on the beach. So, what started off as a wedding that was going to cost us close to $20,000-$30,000 ended up costing us substantially less! Please bear in mind that this all took place sixteen years ago, so inflation has had an effect on pricing! My husband and I got married on the beach at the Shangri-La Fijian Resort. We opted for the basic wedding package which cost us approximately $2000 (AUD).

How much did you actually spend on your wedding?

The combined total of the wedding and honeymoon itself cost us around $7000 (AUD) at the time. This included our flights, twelve-night holiday package (including accommodation, food and transfers). This also included the cost of our wedding rings (approximately $1000), my dress and shoes ($500) and my husband’s suit and shoes ($300).

How much did you spend on each part of the wedding?

The $2000 wedding package included:

– A chauffeur-driven car to transport me to the beach – A floral bouquet and seasonal blooms for my husband and I – A bottle of sparkling wine – Wedding dinner on the Takali Cabana (we paid extra per head for the three additional people) – Services of a dedicated wedding coordinator at the resort – Wedding ceremony set-up and decor – An official marriage license from local authorities (including license fees and documentation) – A Civil Marriage Celebrant to officiate the wedding according to Fiji laws – A souvenir wedding gift – Wedding photographer (this part included photos and a DVD compilation of the pics from the wedding)

Is there anything you wish you had done differently in hindsight?

We both agree that we were happy with how we decided to have our wedding. In the end, my mum, older sister and her partner came with us. If we could have had at least my husband’s mum and dad there, it would have been perfect, but we were happy with the result. Neither of us wanted a big wedding and I have a strong suspicion that tempers would have ended up being frayed and we would not have enjoyed ourselves.

The only real advice I would give to my younger self is this; be firm with what you want. At the time, I made some decisions that made other people happy but not myself and so I compromised on things that I didn’t actually want. In the end, your wedding should be about you and your partner and about what you both want, not about what other people want. It is hard to keep everyone happy, especially if they are contributing towards the cost of the wedding. Everyone is going to have an opinion, and that’s to be expected, but in the end, it is about both of you. Weddings are joyous occasions, so we shouldn’t overcomplicate it.

Sometimes (read: most of the time) it's easier to elope. Image: Getty.

Chloe:

Explain the vision you and your partner had for your wedding?

We opted to elope to a little holiday town in the South West. We wanted a pretty small wedding with just the two of us, a bit of a luxury holiday and then a party a few months later with our friends at home.

How much did you and your partner budget for your wedding?

We wanted something less than $5000. I was pregnant with our 2nd child, and we were saving to buy a house. The wedding, whilst special, wasn't as important as setting up our home together. We just wanted a good celebration with friends, and a special moment just for us to remember.

How much did you actually spend on your wedding?

We spent under $1000 for the luxury days away, celebrant and restaurants whilst eloping. Our party at home came to around $2000 (all food, drinks and venue hire at our favourite local cafe/ restaurant). So all up about $3000.

How much did you spend on each part of the wedding?

Venue - Free with food/alcohol Food - about $1000 Drinks - about $500 (lots of pregnant friends meant lots of non-alcoholic cocktails!) Decorations - $100 Photography - $200 (I bought a Polaroid camera online, with loads of film and our guests took their own pics, which we pegged up on a little board. People could take a photo home if they wanted) No flowers, I bought glow sticks for the kids at the party. Instead of a cake, we had homemade doughnuts and brownies from the cafe and they were delicious.

How much did you spend on your dress? And the groom's suit?

I spent about $200 on my dress and shoes, and my husband wore something he already owned.

We had no bridal party, just guests.

How much did you spend on hair and makeup for yourself?

I bought products at a beauty counter and got a free makeup session. I paid $80 to have my hairstyle.

How much did you spend on the band/DJ or playlist?

We did a Spotify playlist of all our favourite songs.

Is there anything you regret spending money on or wish you had spent more on?

I don't regret anything and am happy with the fun we had with our friends on the evening.

The food was great, the drinks were good and nice quality (not cheap wine like a lot of weddings). I loved it and wouldn't change a thing.

Is there anything you wish you had done differently in hindsight?

It was all perfect and worth it. I liked that we didn't spend a ridiculous amount on a single day and that we put it into our future together. We now are building our home thanks to our savings.

Some brides opted for a low-key, casual wedding to save money for a home or their honeymoon. Image: Getty.

Bridget:

Explain the vision you and your partner had for your wedding?

We aren't married yet, but we're aiming for a traditionally romantic wedding (think red roses, garden setting) but with some sentimental items. We're hoping that we can make this wedding really personal to us. We have gone with an all-inclusive package, but we want to add some of our own flair.

How much did you and your partner budget for your wedding?

We initially wanted to spend $8000, but very, very quickly realised how unrealistic this was for what we wanted. As we have families spread out over Australia and New Zealand, we didn't want the people who had to travel overseas to come to a backyard wedding. So then we bumped the budget up to about $16,000.

How much did you actually spend on your wedding?

It's creeping up to the $22,000 mark, and there are times when we feel really upset about this. We're so excited for the wedding but we don't know how the cost got so high.

How much did you spend on the venue, catering and alcohol?

We got an all-inclusive package for $15,990. This included canapes and mains for up to 80 people, $2500 worth of alcohol, six hours of photography, a three-tier cake, a celebrant, a DJ, venue hire, decorations, flowers and a wedding coordinator.

How much did you spend on the cake and the flowers? Please detail each.

My partner and I decided to remove the cake and flowers out of our package to cut costs. My fiancé's grandmother and mum are making four cakes between them, and we'll serve them as dessert.

We had cake tastings with professional cake-makers but weren't overly impressed and thought our family could do just as good a job, plus, it's a lot more personal.

We're taking a bit of a gamble on our flowers. We removed flowers from our wedding package and have decided to get them from Safeway the day of... they're just SO much cheaper and all I really want are a bouquet of red roses. In thirty years' time, I doubt we'll remember the amazing flowers on our wedding day. We'll remember the fun, laughter and romance.

How much did you spend on your dress? And the groom's suit?

My dress was $1200 and I'm very happy with it. The dress I've chosen is within my $1500 limit I set for myself and really suits the venue.

How much did you spend on hair and makeup for yourself?

My hair and makeup is costing about $240, and I'll be having a trial, so double it.

How much did you spend on your bridesmaids' hair and makeup?

Too much! With four bridesmaids and two junior bridesmaids (between flower girl age and bridesmaid age), it's costing an insane amount and that's how the cost has crept up. It's about $100 for makeup for each bridesmaid, then $120 each for hair. I won't be paying for the junior bridesmaids' makeup as they're still young, but I am paying for their hair. So.... drumroll, it works out to be about $1120. It makes me cringe when I see that number. This is something I didn't think about before asking people to be bridesmaids, I was too busy thinking of asking them to be a part of the special day.

Is there anything you regret spending money on or wish you had spent less ore more on?

I'm still shocked about the price, but I can't see anywhere I can cut down costs. In hindsight, I would've only had one bridesmaid to keep costs down. But honestly, the venue is stunning and the wedding coordinator is fab. I love my dress. Our photographer is nice and relaxed. The DJ seems very professional. The caterers have won awards... Everything seems amazing, and I think unfortunately it is just going to cost what it costs. It will be a fantastic day, I'm very excited for it.

Having extra bridesmaids can cost more - especially if you are footing the bill for their hair and makeup. Image: Getty.

Jasmine:

Explain the vision you and your partner had for your wedding?

A small wedding (60 people) at home with a country feel. Wanted a laidback atmosphere with good food, music and fun. More of a casual affair. We had a marquee in the paddock with catering and sit-down meals and a self-serve bar (which was a bathtub). Guests camped in the paddock that night.

How much did you and your partner budget for your wedding?

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