"I discovered the exact age women start wishing they looked younger."

Ever since I can remember I have known never to ask a woman her age.

When it’s an older woman’s birthday I’ve trained myself to say “you don’t look a day over 21!”. Guessing an older female’s age is a very dangerous game to play, not really fun for anyone involved and overshooting your prediction could end in some serious bad blood.

As a 22-year-old woman myself, having insecurities about my appearance is no new concept to me. I can’t pinpoint exact moments when I started to dislike elements of my body, they have just been given to me in life’s adventures, like stamps in my passport.

But I do know when I discovered the age that women start to wish we looked younger than we are – October, 2018. A remark from a stranger, a few conversations with friends, a Facebook poll and I had discovered the exact age: the not-so-magical number is 22.

The realisation came when a person I just met guessed that I was around 19 or 20 and I was unexpectedly flattered. A little feeling of delight came over me.

I found myself bragging to a friend later about how young they guessed I looked, which turned into a debate when she said something like “Why do want to look younger? I’d rather people think I look older”.

Well, she is 21. Hers felt like a really familiar opinion, one that I had not too long ago. That started me thinking about when did it change – when did I suddenly want to look younger? It was only yesterday that it made me feel on top of the world if it was assumed I was older.

I developed a theory that 22 is the official age of no return, that around 21 is the last time in our lives that we aren’t burdened with the insecurity of looking old.

The more people I asked the stronger my theory became. Every 22-year-old friend of mine said they would rather look younger, even my 5ft friends who still get ID’ed everywhere they go.

Further investigation was required, so I turned to Facebook. More specifically the “Advice” page, which for those who aren’t aware is a group of 250,000+ women from around Australia asking advice and sharing stories. I posted a survey asking their age and whether they would prefer a stranger to think they looked older or younger than they are.

I received about 100 responses (which I know isn’t any high-class scientific study, but it was enough for me) and once again, all of us 22-year-olds answered the opposite of the 21-year-olds. The overwhelming majority wished they looked younger.

What on earth happens to us at 22? When we blow out those candles on our 22nd birthday does a wicked witch sneak out and put the ‘fear of ageing’ curse on us? Did the damage of attending all those 21st parties permanently affect our brain?  

I wish I had answers but I can only offer theories. I think one of the main factors is that a lot of us who chose to invest in a university education have graduated around this age. Whether you are struggling to find full-time work, regretting the degree you chose and trying to find another path or getting settled into 9-to-5 life, this age can be very overwhelming career-wise. It’s tempting to wish we were back at an age where this stuff wasn’t an issue.

Another theory: this is such a confusing time in our lives. Some 22-year-olds have it all figured out and are married with a house, some are years off finishing university, some have had kids, some still live with their parents, some have high paying jobs and some have $10 in their bank account. But all of those are relatively normal for this age and maybe that’s why we are all starting to wish we are something we are not: younger.

I don’t know about you but, for me, this realisation is a sad one. I always knew that I would eventually hate looking older, but didn’t know it would come so soon.

I looked at my mother’s expensive anti-ageing cream in the same way I look at superannuation - something I knew I’d have to deal with but didn’t really understand right now. At my age, I already have the burden of the housing crisis. Now, I also have to worry about how old I look.