Meet Jade Sylvester. Jade is UK stay-at-home mum and she has an addiction. An addiction SO SECRET it’s made international news.
Jade… wait for it… LOVES eating toilet paper. Can’t get enough it. What was once a sneaky square or two is now up to a roll every day.
So how did this roll-a-day habit begin to unroll? (Oh, come on. Just roll with it)
“Two months into the pregnancy, I started craving toilet roll. I still don’t know why,” she told the Lincolnshire Echo.
“I went to the loo and looked at the toilet roll and thought ‘I have to eat that’ – I know it sounds silly.”
My name is Jade Sylvester and I’m addicted to toilet paper. Image via Medavia.
The mother of five has struggled to kick the habit since giving birth and is finding it increasingly difficult to hide from her kids.
“I usually eat around eight pieces per visit – sometimes I go to the bathroom just to get some toilet roll,” she says.
“I like the feeling of the texture in my mouth, rather than the taste. I like the dryness.”
It is a roll-a-day addiction. Image via Medavia.
Jade says that the habit can’t be doing her good, but so far it hasn’t caused her anything major health problems.
I took the liberty of Googling the science of it on her behalf.
Happily NetDoctor held the some of the answers I was looking for in an illuminating entry entitled “My grown-up daughter eats toilet paper!”
Nb. NetDoctor ≠ a real doctor.
Thanks again, science.
Some may – and have – speculated that Jade suffers from a condition known as Pica, which causes adults to have an appetite for the not so nutritious; things like paper, clay, metal, glass or soil.
And this is the thing, Jade isn’t alone. As another quick Google will tell you, plenty of people love a bit of that papery white.
Like Kesha here. (Nb. not to be confused with Ke$ha. That is a lawsuit we DO NOT need.)
But, are all rolls created equal? According to Jade, apparently not.
“Different brands taste different. I have one roll in the bathroom for eating and one to be used normally.”
Remaining questions: is she a folder or a scruncher? Is this some kind of epidemic which only affects women in their mid-twenties; an as yet uncommon symptom of quarter life crises? Will I be next?!
Will you be next?
Clearly, Jade Sylvester is #notsorry.