Enough is enough, self-marriage should not be a Thing.
Yasmin Eleby just fulfilled all of her childhood fantasies. She got married in a beautiful gown with 10 bridesmaids by her side. There was a huge cake and she even performed R.Kelly’s ‘I believe I can fly’ (questionable choice of wedding song, but that’s beside the point). And now the bride will start her life as a newlywed, happily married to herself.
Eleby promised herself that if she hadn’t found the love of her life by age 40, she’d cut out the, er, middle man and just marry herself. Because an adult can’t live a fulfilling life unwed, apparently. Quelle horreur.
(Please excuse the intense eye rolling this author is doing right now.)
Eleby isn’t the first, and most likely not the last, person to get hitched to themselves. In fact, there are enough women doing it to call it a Thing, and apparently it’s all about self-love.
In 2003, a 30-year-old woman in the Netherlands, Jennifer Hoes, was the first bride to get widespread media attention for her self-marriage.
Next up was Taiwanese woman Chen Wei-yih, also 30 at the time, who went the whole shebang in 2010: white poufy dress, wedding planner, and lovely solo honeymoon to Australia.
There are various others, including Sammy Power, an Australia former radio presenter, all of whom speak proudly of their nuptials and their lifelong commitment to loving, respecting and worshiping themselves.
I understand all of that, and I commend these women for doing something that empowers them and shows the world that they’re A-Okay without a partner, that their lives will be full and joyous, with or without The One. No woman should be defined by her relationship, or lack thereof.
BUT, I’m calling bullshit.
Bullshit on the fact that they feel they need to marry themselves to express their self-assurance, and bullshit on the idea that to be a Fully-Fledged Content Adult you need to be married.
I’m not anti-marriage at all. My parents have had a long and loving marriage and I love nothing more than seeing my loved-up friends tie the knot. What I am anti, is the idea that marriage is the best way to express one’s self-love.
Hoes (the original) told Art and Perception that her marriage was a celebration of her transition into adulthood: “I married myself at the moment I was prepared to embrace my own life and agree on the responsibilities that come with that.”