Once upon a time, someone somewhere decided pretending women don’t poo is a thing we do.
From running across the road to the service station to sneaking out in the middle of the night, it seems some women have been finding creative ways to hide their bowel movements from potential love interests for years.
It was this endeavour that put one woman in a very awkward situation – specifically, stuck between two windows trying to catch her poo because “it would not flush”.
The woman in question was on a date with one Liam Smith when she presumably felt the need ‘to go’. But after discovering the toilet was blocked, she panicked.
After rustling up the courage to explain to her date that she tried to erase the evidence by throwing it out the window and into the garden, the pair agreed the best thing to do would be to find and bin it. Only it didn’t go to plan.
“Unfortunately, owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half,” the student explained explained on his GoFundMe page.
“It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.”
Rather than retrieving the foreign object by breaking the window like Liam first suggested, his date decided she could put her gymnastic skills to use. While the woman was (quite impressively) able to reach the poo, it came at a cost.
"She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and I pulled but she was stuck," Liam said. Stuck fast.
"Try as we might, we could not remove her from the window. I was starting to grow concerned, so I called the fire brigade and once they had composed themselves, they set to work removing her from the window."
Aside from the woman's ego, the damage done to the window was irreparable. By setting up a GoFundMe page to tell his story, Liam and his date were able to raise enough funds to replace the window. They even had extra, which they split between two charities of their choosing.
Despite the debacle, Liam would certainly be keen for a second date.
"We had a lovely night on the second date but it's too early to say if she's the one. But we got on very very well and she's a lovely girl," he said.
"And we've already got the most difficult stuff out of the way first."
Now if that's not the loveliest ending to a seriously sh*t situation, we really don't know what is.
In need of some love advice? You can hear what Osher Gunsberg has to say on the matter below...
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