real life

Wishing wells (aka give me $$ instead of gifts). Modern or tacky?

Who knew you could have a wedding and ask your guests to bring you cash? That sounds like a lot of fun. Except do I have to have another wedding? Can’t you people just post me some fifties?

I received this great Group Therapy question from Susan recently and it went like this…

“My sister has recently become engaged. Now I don’t know if I am super out of touch and desperately clinging on to some terribly antiquated values but her engagement party invites have gone out…. along with the registry cards AND information regarding their wishing well.

A wishing well is a less uncomfortable way of saying “Please no gifts, we’d prefer money”. Some weddings have actual wishing wells where you are supposed to deposit your envelope of cash, others require you to give the couple cash as you would a gift. The wishing well is often referenced on the wedding invitation with a cute poem such as:

“Because at first we lived in sin

We’ve got the sheets and a rubbish bin

A gift from you would be swell

But we’d prefer a donation to our Wishing Well!!”


“Soon you will hear our wedding bell,

As Friends and family wish us well.

Our household thoughts are not brand new,

We have twice the things we need for two.

Since we have our share of dishes and bedding,

We’re having instead a wishing well wedding.

But more important we ask of you,

your prayers of love and blessings too!”

I am wondering when did gift registers and wishing wells become ok for engagement parties? I have only just heard of wishing wells at weddings, and even then it’s usually couples who have lived together for a while and have pretty much everything they need.

Am I only one out there who finds the gift and wishing well for an engagement party a bit revolting? Have I missed something and do I need to drag myself into the here and now?”

Look, I haven’t been to a wedding for a while and certainly not one where I had to stop at the ATM on my way. Although I am so hopeless at organising myself to shop from a registry or even buy a gift (unless it comes from the post office naturally) that the thought of an ATM gift is actually quite appealing….what do you guys think?

And are wishing wells just for wedding or can you do them for any old occasion? Birthdays? Baby showers? BBQs?



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