I don’t believe in monogamy.
At least, not when it comes to the most important, tumultuous, co-dependent and supportive relationship you will ever find yourself in during your adult years. The one relationship you need to be in to ensure your head always stays above water.
I’m talking, of course, about the one you have with your work wife.
There’s a strange myth around work wives that alludes to the fact they should always be the person you like the most, that one desk-mate you laugh the hardest with or the gal who’s the most fun to down tequila shots with at the first bar you stumble into after a long day at the office.
But in reality, these people are actually your work friends, or sometimes even your work flings, and I am here to tell you that a few hazy drunken nights coupled with a few shared office jokes does not a real marriage make.
A real work wife has your back at all times, even on the days when your not-so-great attitude is grinding on her very last nerve and she’s contemplating divorce. Along with a shared custody arrangement of the stationary cupboard.
You’re allowed to bicker, of course, but never actually have a full blown fight where words could be exchanged that have the power to cut into your very soul. Your relationship is too strong for that.
Your work wife is also acutely aware of your flaws, and while she does like to rib you about them, she’ll always keep them front of mind and jump in to help as needed. Mostly so you’ll stop slamming your head into your desk drawers in despair because the noise is really getting to her.
She’ll perform acts like climbing under your desk to re-plug in and sort out your epic mess of computer cords because she knows that, even though you both work in a digital first company, you are actually technology illiterate and can barely locate the “on” button in times of need.
(If any of my bosses are currently reading this, please know the above story does definitely not pertain to me. I love computers and very much know how to switch them on without assistance…).