Kenneth Rigby, University of South Australia
In Australia approximately one student in five is bullied at school every few weeks or more often. Many of these students suffer serious emotional and psychological harm, such as persistent anxiety, depression and suicidal thinking, and are unable to concentrate on their school work. It is clear they need help.
Teachers routinely inform students that if they are being bullied at school they should seek help from a trusted adult, such as a teacher or school counsellor.
A new two-part ABC documentary, Bullied addresses the question of how victimised students can receive help from their school.
Part one of the documentary describes the intense suffering of an adolescent victim and the frustration and anguish of his family in finding that the school is not taking any effective action to deal with the case. They do however allow the documentary makers to gather help and support for the unfortunate student through a group meeting with his peers.
This approach proves to be successful. But why did the school fail to provide such help? One possibility is that students are reluctant to go to teachers for help. Another is that teachers lack the skill to stop the bullying from going on.
Students seek help from peers over teachers
Some new research, based on an online survey of 1,688 students in Years 5 to 10, provides data on how many bullied students actually do seek help – and from whom.
Of the 631 students who reported that they had been bullied at one time or another at school, over half (53%) said they sought help from other students in the first instance. Slightly fewer (51%) went to their parents. But what is revealing is that only 38% said they would go to teachers or counsellors for help.
Students appear far more reluctant to seek help from teachers than from other people.
Top Comments
I'm not condoning bullying in any shape or form, I find it absolutely abhorrent. But I think, as parents, we need to look closely at what we're doing that might make our kids targets for these a'holes.
I lived a pretty mobile childhood travelling around Australia as my father followed work. I was a very shy kid who didn't make friends easily, an ideal target for bullies. My husband had a similar upbringing with regards to mobility but instead of withdrawing, he would get into physical altercations and then became labelled as a trouble-maker. Both of us were bullied but reacted very differently.
Just a heads up for parents, constant mobility and being the new kid SUCKS big time for kids. You're kidding yourself if you think it will benefit your kids and offer new experiences for friendships. No, it doesn't always build resilience, on the contrary. Kids lose their friendships, their stability is undermined and sometimes they stop making friends because they know they will be leaving soon anyway. Speaking from experience, my isolation made me an easier target for the 'mean girls'. I had no friends to turn to for support. Parents, you might want to consider settling in one place while your kids are at school and forego becoming a real estate climber until your kids are older, preferably when they have left home. Reporting the bullying to my parents was pointless. Dad just gave me to fighting moves and Mum was utterly convinced that being dragged around moving from school to school was character building and that I should just learn to deal with bullies (she still does).
Given our experiences, we made a conscious choice to keep our kids at one school for their entire education (P-12 school). We have not regretted this for a minute. I'm not saying there was no bullying, there were a couple of minor incidences, but given our long term association with the school we were confident in the support of the teachers and the school's administration. Every incident was nipped in the bud very quickly.
Be engaged. Look for changes in your children, badger them for answers if you have to and do something about the bullying.
And, the most important thing of all, teach your kids to look out for their friends and others being bullied. They don't have to stop in personally and risk making themselves a target, but encourage them to report it. Encourage them to reach out for those isolated new kids, seek them out and invite them to sit with them. Encourage them to talk to you if they witness bullies or suspect it is happening. And as parents, we need to follow this up and not be dismissive. Our kids' school has implemented Stymie which is a fantastic tool for anonymously reporting suspected or proven bullying. We all need to play our part in stamping out bullying.
My husband was bullied mercely in school. Now he is the most secure and resilient person I know. He is very confident with the person he is today and couldn't care less what people of think is him. He believes he learnt to be like this from being bullied.