I’ve always been incredibly hard on myself.

With an internal monologue something along the lines of: “You look like shit today” or “you idiot” or “you suck at that stuff”.

It’s like reporting to a boss who is never satisfied with your best efforts.

But then I fell pregnant and that inner voice dramatically changed.

There was no self-help book or therapy sessions, I just made a conscious decision to be kind to myself because there was a baby growing inside me.

I had this odd idea that my son, who I nicknamed Pedro, could hear my thoughts – or at least understand the general vibe of being me. I had no choice but to make my internal soundtrack happier.

It still blows my mind that humans create other humans and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to be allowed to do that myself. Little old me was growing a human.

Making my body a positive and inhabitable place for Pedro was my very first parental responsibility. This was serious.

Pedro sucks his thumb. Image supplied.

I ended up with a dream pregnancy, I was fat and happy and super nice to myself because I had a little baby friend that came everywhere with me, every day.

Pedro made me see my inner world afresh.

After nine months of having positive and encouraging conversations with myself, I gave birth to some healthy self-acceptance as well as a bouncing baby boy.

My journey into motherhood was profound because of it. I gave birth to a son and a brand new relationship with myself.

My heart was open and for the first time in my adult life I was truly content.

Charlie, a few days old, babbles with his Grandmother. Post continues after video.

It's somewhat ironic that my conception was almost unwelcome - not from my parents or family - but it was a stressful situation.

I was born to a teenage mother after a shotgun wedding in the midst of Catholic small-town drama and because of this, I waited a long long time until I planned to have a baby.

Up until my mid-thirties I was terrified of motherhood, it looked to me like a life with no freedom and a lot of hard work. My mum had been raising children for decades and had never had a chance to have her own life.

Listen to This Glorious Mess, the podcast for imperfect parents. Post continues below.

My mother had to endure a good dose 1970s disapproval well into the '80s - even though she gave up adult emancipation to become a responsible parent.

When she fell pregnant at 16, she had to stop doing bombs at the pool and when I fell pregnant at 36, I got an excellent maternity-leave package.

By the time I fell pregnant I'd "had a life". I'd travelled, I'd lived overseas for nearly a decade, I had a great job, I was engaged to be married to a man I loved. I was ready.

In the last days of my pregnancy in London. Image supplied.

At 36, just when Pedro was making my body very uncomfortable, I finally became comfortable with who I was in the world. Falling pregnant and having a baby helped me change the way I saw myself.

Now my two-year-old Charlie is building his own internal world and I hope I can help to instill a kind and loving internal monologue of his own.

Even if it is my actual voice saying how loved he is.

Celebrities during pregnancy

Blake Lively

Duchess Catherine

Princess Charlene of Monaco

Duchess Catherine

Sonia Kruger

Amanda Peet

Kourtney Kardashian

Kelly Rowland

Zoe Saldana

Hayden Panettiere

Gwen Stefani

Asher Keddie

Liv Tyler

Kirsten Bell

Mila Jovovich