From a woman who knows. Really knows.
I’ve had plenty of experience being the the other woman. As a promiscuous university student, I recall seducing a pro-football player with a long-distance girlfriend. Well, I eventually got sick of “giving it up for free” and figured I may as well get paid to play.
After many years as a stripper, a dash of desperation, and gradually becoming more open-minded, I posted my first ad on a website for upscale escorts catering to sugar daddies. That’s right, I prostitute for a living. Here’s what I’ve learnt in the process about your husbands:
1. Monogamy is against most men’s biological nature.
But nest-building and settling down with one primary woman to raise a family is not. He’s chosen you, not me. He might see me as more fun, vivacious or sexual, but he sees you as the best candidate for wife, mother and life companion. He takes you seriously; not me.
2. Your partnership, in his eyes, has turned into more of an asexual friendship without the “benefits.”
He still wants the benefits (as in the sex) but would rather seek out a willing mistress than rock the boat with you by expressing his frustration at your loss of interest in sex—or at least sex like it used to be.
3. He wants to have his cake and eat it, too.
Social conditioning has enabled his feelings of male “have it all” entitlement. He still loves the hell out of you but male privilege dictates he can play around, get away with it and not be held accountable.
4. I require less maintenance both emotionally and financially.
I’m not a long-term investment. Whether I’m seeing him for money or seeing him just for fun, I’m his sidechick who is (sometimes painfully) at his beck and call for fantasy fulfillment as well as emotional support. Whereas you're a full-time career with great benefits and insurance, I'm an hourly temp job.
5. He feels more comfortable telling me things he doesn’t have the confidence to admit to you.
I’m basically a young, good-looking version of a therapist but unlike professionally-trained therapists, he gets to f*ck me. (That’s why in the case of escorting, my $500 per hour rate exceeds many of the nation's best PhD holding psychiatrists and psychologists).
6. He can ask me to perform certain sexual acts that he doesn't feel comfortable asking you to do.
I don’t do anal sex, but I love giving oral, slightly rough sex, threesomes, a little role-play, and light BDSM.
7. He might be indulging an addiction...
...replacing an addiction or channeling his craving for other vices toward a different form of self-destructive behaviour.
If he has a history of gambling, alcoholism or drug addiction, it's common for him to channel this pleasure-seeking energy toward me. He’s listening to his Id, not his super-ego, because he has a history of weakness toward seeking pleasure in excess.
8. He gets off on the risk.
He might not even be seeing me for me at all because it’s about indulging in a thrill-seeking risk.