NOTE: There is nothing at all strange or wrong or funny about having a limp. People who walk with a limp may have a physical disability or illness that affects how they move. The only reason Jourdan’s limp is of interest is because it only developed halfway through an episode of television, and became more pronounced as his chances of finding love with Sophie Monk decreased.
On last night’s premiere episode of The Bachelorette, a number of bizarre things happened.
A vast majority of the men behaved as though they were at a Year Nine pool party, and wanted their mum (Sophie) to watch them do… tricks. There was a walk off, followed by an undie run, and at no point did any of this seem to have anything to do with getting to know/wooing Sophie. It was… alarming.
But by far the strangest thing that happened was: Jourdan.
The 25-year-old bar manager from Queensland introduced himself by blindfolding Sophie and then walking away. But then when he reappeared in the mansion, he suddenly had a limp.
We first noticed his limp when he walked into the room where Sophie and her other bachelors were playing 'Never have I ever'. Jourdan limped in, sat down, and when Sophie asked the first question, 'never have I ever been cheated on,' he started to cry.
Listen to Michelle Andrews and Zara McDonald debrief on the first episode of The Bachelorette. Post continues after audio.
Awww, she thought. He's been cheated on. How sad.
But through his tears, Jourdan said he had been accused of cheating, even though he hadn't. So like any rational person, Sophie assumed his partner was the one who had been cheating.
NO ONE HAD CHEATED.
Jourdan just felt kinda... sad.
Maybe because he had just developed a limp.
Sophie took Jourdan aside for a chat, but was quickly distracted by an otter in the pool that wasn't actually an otter and was probably a possum.
It... it really was a bizarre episode of television.
But we mustn't ignore the pressing issue here: it's crucial for me (as a Spotlight journalist) to get to the bottom of Jourdan's limp. These are the investigations worthy of our time. These are the questions that need answers.
First, here's the evidence. Please meet Jourdan as he exited the limo and met Sophie for the first time.
Now, meet Jourdan at the tail end of his limp, after first exhibiting a minor limp, then showing a more pronounced version.
Fellow bachelor Blake even said, "All of a sudden, Jourdan starts hobbling up, which is really weird because he didn’t have a limp at the start of the night".
The only reasonable assumption is that something happened after Jourdan met Sophie. And if something is happening to Jourdan in the Bachelorette mansion under Osher's watch, I want to know about it.
I have established the following theories for why, halfway through the show, a man known only as Jourdan started inexplicably walking differently.
Because Ryan kicked him
This is particularly compelling, given that Ryan rudely interrupted Sophie and honestly if you're willing to interrupt Sophie Monk there are no limits to what you're capable of.
Because he had a fall on the way in
The excitement of blindfolding Sophie and then 'hiding' inside without formally introducing yourself/asking her anything about herself/having a conversation could've been too much, causing Jourdan to slip or fall upon entering the mansion.
The limp was REAL, and he was just pretending NOT to have one when he met Sophie
Perhaps he was embarrassed and shy about his limp, so tried really hard to walk in a way that wouldn't draw any attention, but this became harder as the night wore on.
Because thinking about the prospect of being cheated on gives you a limp
Timing is important. Jourdan only started limping once the group were talking about cheating, and even though he has never been cheated on, and hasn't cheated on anyone, the very idea of cheating could be so intense it resulted in a limp.
He was trying to get a SYMPATHY 'double delight rose'
Last night, for the first time in Bachelorette history, Osher introduced the 'double delight rose,' which entitles one of the men to not one but TWO dates with Sophie. Perhaps Jourdan's plan was for Sophie to give him the rose out of sympathy for crying (about... not being cheated on) and limping (without reason).
He then had to maintain the limp at the cocktail party so as not to seem... petty.
Everyone remembers a person with a limp
LOOK AT WHO WE'RE TALKING ABOUT/THE SUBJECT OF THIS SPOTLIGHT INVESTIGATION.
He wants to avoid participating in any humiliating physical challenges
Oh my God. The man... the man's a genius.
Maybe we'll never know the real story behind Jourdan's limp, but we'll be watching very closely tonight to see if it's still there. And for any ~ whispers ~ about who or what (*cough* Ryan *cough*) could have caused it.
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