My sister told me that doing the invite list would be the hardest thing about the whole wedding process. It pains me to say she was right, but the girl is bang on. To all those engaged: The list is brutal. Beware the list.
One argument continues to rage in my household: If a friend wants to bring a plus one, but you haven’t met them, do you HAVE to invite them?
Here’s the thing – I’m no Meghan Markle. I’m not choosing which tiara to wear and looking at a guest list of hundreds. I’d like to NOT be in debt for the first five years of my marriage because I’ve invited every man and their dog to this day. I’d love to celebrate with family and friends… and strangers don’t really make the cut.
If we haven’t met them, we don’t have a relationship with them. I can’t have a random take the place of a friend or a family member.
So, my decision was: Sorry, no plus ones if we haven’t met.
Not going to lie, this has caused some major tension between my fiancé and I. He reminds me, constantly, that the first real date we went on was to his best friend’s wedding – who, at the time, was a stranger to me. Years later, he will be the best man at my wedding.
Listen: Mia Freedman shares the wedding regret that turned into one of the biggest of her entire life. Post continues after audio.
Needless to say, he thinks I’m the wicked witch of the west and says not inviting a ‘plus one’ for friends is outright rude. It’s something others have offered to us in the past and we’ve attended. He wants everyone to feel included and comfortable on the day. Which is lovely. But I’m just looking at the budget. We can’t afford EVERYBODY!
I can feel my blood pressure rising just writing about this. Maybe I am a bridezilla?
I shared my conundrum on Facebook. Talk about opening a can of wedding worms.
Commenter Simone told me she had “lost two friends who demanded I invite their new partners”. She said she felt so bad in the lead up she tried to compromise. “I said I couldn’t afford all of them at the reception, but all were welcome at the ceremony. I even went as far as having the cake cut after the ceremony so those who couldn’t come to the reception felt included. Nope! It wasn’t good enough for them.”
Cheryl said, “When my brother got married I was not allowed to take my partner, so I didn’t go at all.”
Phwoar. Who knew this was such a hot button?
Tamara thought “perhaps it depends on how long they’ve been together?” Which is a good point. If we think they’re a keeper. should they be allowed in the fold?
Georgina was adamant: “No. If you’re saying nice to meet you on your wedding day then, NO.”
Tania was surprised it was even a question for us. "Of course you should invite them, it's respect for your friend."
What do you think? If you don’t know a friend’s partner, do they have to be invited to your wedding?