Lately, everyone’s really been getting into black china.
Everywhere I turn people are talking about it. I walk through the offices here and the words ring out. “Black china is so hot right now,” “Oh I hate black china”, “Black china is awesome”.
“Why are the youth suddenly so interested in homewares?” I thought.”Is the new IKEA catalogue out? Should I get onto Peters of Kensington and have a squiz?”
So I Googled it.
And, well, it’s not a plate. It’s not even a Shayanna Blaze-inspired dining room set. It’s a PERSON.
And Google tells me she's a famous person. Why? Because something-something Kardashian.
That's right. You can't even search Google for a sleek black homewares set these days without the world's most powerful algorithm forcing you into the goddamn Kardashian vortex.
Remember the Kardashian/Blac Chyna feud? Here's a helpful explainer... (Post continues after video).
So who is Blac Chyna, how is she famous, why do we care, whose baby is she having and something something what huh?
We had to ask resident millennial Jessie Stephens to explain. Jessie has a University degree with a Masters of Research, majoring in history. I just think you should know that, because I think she may have lost some brain cells in this process of explanation:
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So there you have it.
- Blac Chyna is a stripper and famous rappers have rapped about her.
- Her real name is Angela White. But "Angela White" is not exactly a sexy rap lyric, is it?
- She may or may not have had arse implants
- She's about to marry a Kardashian
- She's up the duff to the most boring Kardashian, the one who has a line of socks.
- She used to date a Tiger, which in Hollywood is spelt "Tyga".
- She had a baby with the "Tyga"
- And now the "Tyga" is dating a Kylie, who is a Kardashian.
- And that means that Blac Chyna's ex will be a potential brother-in-law, and her new baby's Uncle.
- Which is....huh? Weird. It's like a brain-training exercise. This family tree is the new mindfulness puzzle.
Reward yourself with a new set of dinner plates. Just don't google you know what or you'll be back at the beginning.
Also this week on Mamamia Out Loud, the theory that everyone, including you, will marry the wrong person. Are women being sold false hope by the IVF industry? And should mum's have to make their kids first birthday cake as a rite of passage?