Oh my holy guacamole it just got real.
It turns out while everyone was picturing Lana dishing out roses to chiseled men, she was off frolicking in a pool and falling in love with a dude named Jake Meah. She even told NW he was “the one”. I know. I KNOW.
Our other fave option in Heather was ruled out pretty quickly too. Post continues after video…
If you ask me (a well seasoned cynic) this info was leaked strategically because Channel 10 are about to spill the beans on who our REAL BACH LADY is. And… well… bravo, TV execs, because it’s totally working and I’m basically frothing at the mouth.
Anyway, we got to work in the Mamamia office and put our thinking caps on. Without further ado, here’s our top 5 suspects for Bachelorette 2016.
1. Louise Pillidge.
I’m telling you now, Louise would make for some great reality television entertainment. Imagine the chaos if the first two Bachelorettes in Aussie TV history were both Blake ‘Dirty Love Rat’ Garvey’s exes. JUST IMAGINE. We could probably just rename the show ‘Blake’s a Douchebucket’ and be done with it.
If you ask me, Louise has that perfect TV hair all ready to go. Also, she wouldn’t put up with anymore dirty love rat antics and would probably dole out some killer lifestyle tipz from her blog while she was at it.
Chances of being Queen Bachie: Warm .
2. Sarah Mae Amey.
Confession time – I didn’t know who this Sarah Mae chick even was until half the office began screaming out her name like she’s the lovechild of Cher and Jesus.
If you’re like me and are totally out of the socialite loop, Sarah Mae was on the first instalment of The Bachelor. But it doesn’t end there – she’s also BFFs with the first season’s winner, Anna Heinrich AND the original Bachie Queen, Sam Frost.
A photo posted by Sarah-Mae Louise Amey (@sarahmaelouise) on Nov 7, 2015 at 1:15am PST
AND AND AND she recently split from Bachelorette contestant, Dave Billsborrow. So Sarah Mae’s basically Bachie royalty and is
definitely maybe our next Bachelorette.
Chances of being Queen Bachie: Hot.
3. Zilda Williams.
Zilda is also a Bachelor alum, and has curiously featured in a LOT of Daily Mail articles recently. Like… a lot. A lot, a lot.
I’m not entirely sure if this is because A) she has a bangin’ bod, B) tips off paparazzi at Bondi beach, or C) is about to be crowned Queen Bachie – but she’s EVERYWHERE right now.
Chances of being Queen Bachie: Cloudy. Chances of her being in Daily Mail in a bikini tomorrow: Sure thing.
4. Jodi Anasta.
Okay, look, this is totally clutching at straws, but Jodi did recently split from ex-hubby Braith and is back on the market people.
Also, she’s super hot (check), is comfortable in front of a camera (check) and would pulverise any slimebags who dared breathe in her direction (check, check and check).
A photo posted by Jodi Anasta (@jodigordon) on May 5, 2016 at 12:44am PDT
Chances of being Queen Bachie: Near non-existent, but in the interests of reaching my prescribed number of five legitimate Bachie suspects, not completely dead.
5. ~~ WiLdCaRd ~~
Now let’s just say I may have heard *whispers* from *people* that our next Bachie Queen isn’t someone we already know of. She’s a total wildcard. Hell, she could even be me (she’s not, but what a dramatic finale to this post THAT would be).
If our next Queen Bachie is you, I BEG YOU TO COME FORWARD. Mostly because I’m one nosey bugger but also because I may or may not have a breakdown if I don’t find out soon.
Chances of being Queen Bachie: Likely. Increasingly likely.
Who do you think will be named as the next Bachelorette?