dating

CEO Whitney Wolfe of Bumble - the anti-Tinder app where women call the shots.

Much has been written about Tinder and it’s hidden pitfalls. No one knows them better than Whitney Wolfe.

She co-founded the app four years ago, but it all came to a bitter end in 2014 when she filed a sexual discrimination lawsuit against the company citing “misogynistic, frat-like behaviour.”

The suit was reportedly settled out of court for 1 million dollars.

Wolfe went on to create Bumble, hailed as the anti-Tinder because it allows women and only women to make the first move.

If the user doesn’t initiate a conversation to a new match within 24 hours, the match disappears forever. Wolfe argues this approach creates more online responsibility, while breaking societal norms of having the guy make the first move.

We ran a few questions past Whitney on career and love:

What is the best piece of career advice you’ve ever been given?

There is no shortcut to hard work, and no stronger answer than listening to your intuition.

What advice would you give your 20-year-old self about work?

Trust your gut, keep working hard in hard times, and don’t trust the naysayers.

"Work hard, be flexible, and open to trying your hand at things you might not be on the payroll for." (Image: Supplied)

Do you - or have you ever had - a career plan? Or do you embrace the Sheryl Sandberg philosophy that it's not a ladder, but a jungle gym.

Jungle gym - I am scared of heights and I hate ladders. Everyone can be anyone he or she wants to become, just work hard, be flexible, and open to trying your hand at things you might not be on the payroll for.

As a boss, how do you motivate yourself at work when you really can't be bothered?

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I can always be bothered. Passion and motivation are the fuel to the business, and without fuel your engine stops. You must always stop for gas; you can't just run out on the side of the freeway and call it quits. For motivation: Take a break, take a walk, have a phone chat with your funny friend- keep going.

If you could delete one thing about your working life right now, what would it be?

Spreadsheets and Google Docs ;)

We'd all like a fewer spreadsheets in our lives. (Image via iStock)

What's the biggest misconception you find men have about women in the workforce?

That we get the job, or the promotion, or the compliment, because of how we look. Or that we are "emotional" and our work is at the mercy of that. We gave birth to you - gentlemen - don't bite the hand that feeds you!

When it comes to relationships, what are mistakes are women making?

They are changing themselves to be what they think the man/woman wants. They lose sight of themselves to keep a relationship going or to please their partner. That is why at Bumble we always say "bee yourself.”

Nothing is better than just being you. Find someone who wants you for your true colors, not the ones you might think you need to paint yourself with.

Do you think it's easier to be a woman dating now or twenty years ago?

To be honest, neither. It is not and never has been easy to be a single woman. It wasn't for our mothers and it isn't for us. We are making strides and we are moving in the right direction, but the stereotypes and assumptions surrounding a single woman are horrible and can be especially hard on one's confidence.

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That is why you must do what makes you happy. Other people's opinions are none of your business. Try and forge your own path regardless of what society "says" is right.

What are the mistakes women make when it comes to dating online?

I think women oftentimes feel as if a man is "perceiving" them in a certain way. Own your voice, own your wants, and own your confidence. Making the first move is sexy, empowering, and really helps your chances of holding your ground as an equal.

What have you learned from your first and most recent relationships?

Lessons from dating so far: Behind every powerful (heterosexual and non-single) woman is a man who is rooting for her and who loves her at her most powerful. I have found that a relationship is different than a healthy relationship. Be single before you choose to be in a relationship that isn't lifting you up.

"Behind every powerful (heterosexual and non-single) woman is a man who is rooting for her and who loves her at her MOST powerful." (Image via Pexels)

What's the worst date you've ever been on?

I have never been a "typical" dater. I have always dated people I have known before, either through friends or through a forged friendship first. I hate first dates and luckily have managed to avoid the cliché and awkward ones thus far.

How can women take the power back in relationships?

Be aware of the fact that you are whole on your own. A relationship should never 'complete' you, it should add to you. You are a whole person on your own. You should never feel like your world will crumble at the mercy of someone else. Bee yourself.

If career advice is what you're after, check out Mamamia's video series with Content Director Mia Freedman:

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