couples

10 hidden signs you're about to break-up.

Deciding to break up with someone is a tough. There is so much anguish, guilt, history, ‘what ifs’ involved, it takes time and heartbreak to reach a decision.

To make things (somewhat) easier, we’ve put together a list of big, blinking break up signs. When you’ve reached these points, there’s no longer room for denial; it’s time to make the call.

Steel yourself, and read on.

The Mamamia Staff share the moment that they knew their relationship was done. Post continues below video

Screening his calls – Amy, 28.

There are so many excuses for this. You’re busy, you’re in a bad mood, you’re in the middle of something (you’re actually lying on the beach with a book – but this is your time). Maybe it’s just that you no longer want to speak to him.Screening calls with crazy mothers or needy friends is ome thing. screening calls with the person that’s meant to make you happiest is another thing all together.

Please note. This is about regularly screening calls from your significant other, like all the time. Those days, when you are on the beach with that book, it’s completely understandable to call back later. You’re busy, dammit.

Trying to make them break up with you – Sarah, 26. 

THIS is classic. You are so over the relationship, but you don’t have a ‘reason’ to break up. No one’s cheating, you’re not in love with someone else, you should, for all intents and purposes, be extremely happy. But you’re not. This vagueness makes breaking up tough. You have no exact reason to do so, and you have every excuse not to. It get’s easier and easier to put the decision off, wait for a ‘better’ time, wait to see if things get better.

As you do this waiting, you find yourself in an unusual situation. Every little fight, you’re putting the idea of ‘breaking up’ in your partner’s mouth. “Oh, so should we just break up then?” you’ll cry, when you’re arguing about the best way to extract toothpaste from the tube. That’s when they say, “I didn’t say that”, and you’re left secretly wishing they had. This is all a ploy to wear them down, so one day they’ll make the decision for you.

Just, don’t. Make the call yourself.

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Feeling contempt – Jacqui, 32.

When everything they say, the way they think, the sound of their laugh, their behaviour makes you cringe, then it’s time to call it quits. (It was probably ‘time’ a while back, before you started hating the sound of their voice, you just didn’t realise). This is a horrible stage to reach. Because someone you love, starts to resemble everything you hate. Why do you hate it so viscerally, because you’re supposedly ‘stuck’ in a situation you don’t want to be in. Get yourself out of it.

Feeling trapped – Jess, 29.

Feeling like there’s no way out is a terrifying experience. Maybe you’re in the relationship for convenience, and can’t see a way to undo the life you’ve created. Or maybe it’s more sinister; you’re dependant financially, or you’ve become so isolated, you don’t have anywhere to go. Maybe your partner ‘needs’ you, and threatens that they ‘can’t live without you’. These realities will lead to nothing but resentment. They’re all warning signs you should do the exact thing you feel like you can’t; i.e. get the f**k out.

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Going in different directions – Kate, 24.

This is a heartbreaking one. There’s nothing wrong with the relationship as it stands but you’re going in different directions. Sometimes, this isn’t a sign you have to break up. But, other times, going in different directions, and wanting different things, can create tension. With this tension comes the first signs that a breakup is looming. Brace yourself.

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When you start to feel more like a parent, than a companion – nakedwines, Reddit.

Complacency. It can kill even the best of relationships. And, when one person begins to get complacent, the other picks up the slack… Along with the laundry, and the vacuuming and the dirty dishes. When this happens, and yo’ure beginning to feel more like a guardian than a partner, it’s high time to cut your SO-come-five-year-old lose. It’s time they slept in the bed they’ve failed to make.

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Feeling attracted to other people – Rach, 31.

This is not always a deal breaker. Physical attraction is something we often can’t help, and if the relationship between you is  strong enough, attraction to other people will never come into fruition. But when you’re thinking about being intimate with some one else. And these thoughts are popping up on a regular, un-shakeable basis, to the point where you will justify the possibility of cheating, if the opportunity arose. This, right here, is when it’s time to leave. Before something happens that you’ll live to regret.

When the memories mean more to you than the person in front of you – hirgon13 on Reddit.

This is brutal. But very, very true. We have a tendency to hold onto relationships, let them linger, because we know how good things can be. Problem is, this is in the past. It can be difficult to realise when memories are the only reason a relationship is being held together. But when you find yourself reminiscing more about the past, than you are feeling excited about the future, things are likely too far gone.

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When you’re reading articles like this – Sam, 27.

As the old adage goes: ‘if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer’. The fact your thinking so intently about the idea of breaking up, that you’re talking about it, reading about it and seraching for answers, likely means your decision is already made. You just need to work up the courage to do it.

When you start understanding country music – Kiygre, Reddit.

Truer words have never been spoken.

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