Deciding to break up with someone is a tough. There is so much anguish, guilt, history, ‘what ifs’ involved, it takes time and heartbreak to reach a decision.
To make things (somewhat) easier, we’ve put together a list of big, blinking break up signs. When you’ve reached these points, there’s no longer room for denial; it’s time to make the call.
Steel yourself, and read on.
The Mamamia Staff share the moment that they knew their relationship was done. Post continues below video
Screening his calls – Amy, 28.
There are so many excuses for this. You’re busy, you’re in a bad mood, you’re in the middle of something (you’re actually lying on the beach with a book – but this is your time). Maybe it’s just that you no longer want to speak to him.Screening calls with crazy mothers or needy friends is ome thing. screening calls with the person that’s meant to make you happiest is another thing all together.
Please note. This is about regularly screening calls from your significant other, like all the time. Those days, when you are on the beach with that book, it’s completely understandable to call back later. You’re busy, dammit.
Trying to make them break up with you – Sarah, 26.
THIS is classic. You are so over the relationship, but you don’t have a ‘reason’ to break up. No one’s cheating, you’re not in love with someone else, you should, for all intents and purposes, be extremely happy. But you’re not. This vagueness makes breaking up tough. You have no exact reason to do so, and you have every excuse not to. It get’s easier and easier to put the decision off, wait for a ‘better’ time, wait to see if things get better.
As you do this waiting, you find yourself in an unusual situation. Every little fight, you’re putting the idea of ‘breaking up’ in your partner’s mouth. “Oh, so should we just break up then?” you’ll cry, when you’re arguing about the best way to extract toothpaste from the tube. That’s when they say, “I didn’t say that”, and you’re left secretly wishing they had. This is all a ploy to wear them down, so one day they’ll make the decision for you.
Just, don’t. Make the call yourself.
Feeling contempt – Jacqui, 32.
When everything they say, the way they think, the sound of their laugh, their behaviour makes you cringe, then it’s time to call it quits. (It was probably ‘time’ a while back, before you started hating the sound of their voice, you just didn’t realise). This is a horrible stage to reach. Because someone you love, starts to resemble everything you hate. Why do you hate it so viscerally, because you’re supposedly ‘stuck’ in a situation you don’t want to be in. Get yourself out of it.
Feeling trapped – Jess, 29.
Feeling like there’s no way out is a terrifying experience. Maybe you’re in the relationship for convenience, and can’t see a way to undo the life you’ve created. Or maybe it’s more sinister; you’re dependant financially, or you’ve become so isolated, you don’t have anywhere to go. Maybe your partner ‘needs’ you, and threatens that they ‘can’t live without you’. These realities will lead to nothing but resentment. They’re all warning signs you should do the exact thing you feel like you can’t; i.e. get the f**k out.