I once went on a date with a girl who told me she had slept with 160 men. My reaction was a mixture of confusion, intimidation and intrigue.
How did she find the time? Could she really remember all 160 of them? Then my own insecurities quickly surfaced.
How would I compare with the other 160? How would I measure up? Would she quickly get bored of me if all she was seeking was variety? Did her sexual appetite mean that she wasn’t in it for the long haul?
Was she already scoping out number 162?
Is someone who has slept with a 160 men a better lover than a person who has only slept with one person over the past 20 years?
I always felt that sex got better the longer you knew somebody as your inhibitions, insecurities and embarrassment slowly fall away. Could you really get to know someone sexually if you’re just trying to notch up numbers on your belt? Does experience with a number of lovers and techniques make you a master lover?
What is a number anyway?
In the movie, What’s Your Number, Ally (played by Anna Farris) and her friends compar their numbers.
According to the 2014 Australian sex survey 27.4% of the female population claim they have slept with between one and five partners while the second most common number at 26.3%is 21 or more partners.
I’m guessing the percentage for having slept with 160 plus people is quite small.
Does having a variety of sexual partners make you less likely to stray because you know the grass isn’t greener? Does marrying your first lover make you more likely to stray wondering what you’ve missed out on? Or do you not miss what you’ve never had?
And what is the perfect number?
My work colleague Sandi told me she has slept with over 100 men, explaining, “Sure I regret some of them the next morning, the way you regret a hangover, but looking at the big picture, it did no harm. I had a good time and life is too short to have regrets about things that have already happened.”
Another female friend of mine has just come out of a 20-year-marriage and she is now making up for lost time by visiting sex clubs and swingers parties. So was sleeping with that one guy over the past 20 years time wasted or time well spent?