There are certain things that the Internet most definitely has enough of.
Pornography, for example.
Also, memes. The Internet probably has enough memes.
But advice for pregnant women? Online forums telling them what they can and can’t do? Now that’s something – I’m sure we can all agree – we need more of.
You see, women are very silly. And if they don’t have lists instructing them on how to be a good pregnant person/mother/woman, then they would probably all be running down the street shaking their boobies in the air, lickin’ toads and bathing in the blood of single young men.
So I have gone to the trouble of writing a definitive list of all the things pregnant women CANNOT do, to fill the overwhelming gap.
- Drink alcohol
- Snort alcohol
- Wash your hair with alcohol
- Smoke cigarettes
- Eat cigarettes
- Inject cigarettes
- Do drugs
- Eat kale. Not for any health reasons, just because it's awful
- The same goes for any food you don't like. List says you can't eat it