"My friend got dumped last night..." The truest short story we've ever read.


Most women know the feeling of discovering a friend has been ruthlessly dumped, and scrambling to recite everything you always hated about their former partner.

They wore a dumb backpack. You always thought they were a bit… racist. You never liked how they rested their ankle on their knee like they were the goddamn boss, while suggesting that maybe September 11 was an inside job.

Women, we’re sure, have been doing this since the beginning of time.

Somewhere there exists cave paintings of women making fun of their mate’s ex’s loin cloth and how it was always just a few inches too short.

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This week, a tweet went viral by a woman with the handle @FWheezyy.

“My friend got dumped last night and this morning we had a group facetime call where everyone shared how much we hated him and it was about two hours of going through what garbage this man is.

“At one point I said NASA is still looking for his hairline,” she said.


Yes. Very good insult. We appreciate the use of creative analogies.

But we haven’t reached the complication of the story yet. 

The tweet ended with five words that nail the danger of shitting on a friend’s ex.

“And now they’re back together,” she wrote.


Oh. Oh. 


The hairline comment is suddenly not so... appropriate. Or... helpful.

Her tweet attracted more than 320,000 likes, with some offering helpful advice like, "You gotta wait until the third break up to go hard."

So true.

Something tells us that her friend will suddenly become very distant and then accuse her drunk in a bar one night of "NOT BEING SUPPORTIVE OF MY RELATIONSHIP."
Which she... isn't.
FWheezyy has decided she is going to wait until her friend is married and has three kids with someone else before sharing her opinions on her exes ever again.

That's not a bad policy.




Have you had a similar experience? Let us know in the comments below.