9 things I wish I knew before my first trimester of pregnancy.

Listen to this story being read by Gemma Bath, here. 

Wowza, that was a ride. 

I've just ticked off my first trimester of pregnancy and as I sit here in trimester two, slightly less anxious, I've been doing a lot of reflecting while it's all still fresh in my noggin. 

I've known I was pregnant since week four, and it has so far felt like the longest and also quickest few months of my life. 

I want to share with you what I wish I knew before I experienced this, as a first-time soon-to-be mum. 

1. Pregnancy anxiety is normal. But you need to put it into perspective.  

Working in women's media, I am surrounded by pregnancy, birth and parenting stories. 

But when we report a story about pregnancy and birth, it's usually about something going wrong. That's because a pregnancy that's smooth sailing or easy isn't really a story and yet statistically, it's the reality for a large proportion of women. 

While I never want to stop telling the stories of miscarriage and hardship and fertility troubles and horrendous morning sickness - hearing only the bad makes you forget that there's also a lot of good. 

From the moment I peed on that stick and saw the two pink lines, I was a mess. 

Don't get excited, it might not 'take,' was my first thought. 

That remained my mindset for the entire first trimester as I refused to let myself get too attached just in case something went wrong.

While this is a realistic mindset to have, I let it swallow me. I was so consumed by something going wrong; I got to the point where I was just existing and counting down the days until I reached the next milestone, (which made the days go for eternity), instead of actually just relaxing into the process a bit more. 

I am not going to tell you not to worry; I hated people telling me that. But putting things into perspective helped. I used this Miscarriage Odds Reassurer to keep myself sane, because looking at those little numbers getting more and more in my favour was weirdly reassuring. 

2. You expect pregnancy to come with *all* the symptoms, but sometimes you won't feel pregnant at all.

The first sign I had that I was pregnant was boobs of fire. It wasn't like the tenderness I usually get around my period; it was a new achy, engorged feeling. 

Sure enough, preggo. 

But from there, my 'symptoms' didn't really ramp up like I was expecting them too. Or like all the movies and articles and memes prepared me for. 

I was tired. Super tired. But that was about it, along with the sore boobs, until around week eight. 

It left me constantly confused, telling my fiance, "But shouldn't I be feeling more??? Vomiting? Wanting to eat pickles??? Something?"

I felt... normal. Just a more tired version of myself, which is incredibly lucky. I know and have written about so many women who had first trimesters from hell. 

But that doesn't mean that what I was experiencing wasn't normal too. 

I found myself seeking others experiencing the same as me. Like OBGYN and first-time mum Sarah Bjorkman, I didn't 'feel' pregnant. Post continues below.

Once I hit week eight, I started to get a bit of nausea. It would hit about 11am and dissipate around 3pm or 4pm, but for me, it was super manageable. It felt like I was on the edge of a cliff - like I was about to fall into something gross and horrible, but I was just standing on the edge peering in with a slightly queasy tummy. Constantly snacking on Tiny Teddies did the trick for me, and within a few weeks, the feeling went. Again, I was very lucky. 

Looking back, I was dealing with a lot of irritability and moodiness around this time; which are major pregnancy symptoms. But I was so used to hearing about the more physical tropes, and waiting for the 'weird food cravings' to hit, I dismissed them. 

I ate a lot of icy-poles and drank a lot of fruit juice, but that's about as 'weird' as it got. 

3. Keeping pregnancy a secret, is bloody hard. 

I remember pre-pregnancy, telling a friend; "Pffft, when I fall pregnant, I will tell you all immediately! I am not waiting the 12 weeks."

Then I fell pregnant. 

There's a new kind of vulnerability that comes with knowing you are expecting, but not knowing what's going to happen next. 

Miscarriage occurs in up to one in five detected pregnancies, and if you're anything like me (back up to number one on this list), you expect that to be you. 

Telling people feels... hard. Because you have to watch their excitement, and then what if you have to break their heart in a few weeks???

We told our parents around week eight, after seeing the heartbeat in the dating scan. 

I told a few friends early on, but I waited until I was in my second trimester to tell work and my wider social circles. It felt right for me, but I hated it.

I hate secrets. I suck at them. Thankfully, I could easily hide my sickness, but having to turn up to work and pretend like something huge wasn't happening to me, was really, really, really hard. I am the kind of person who deals with things by speaking about them so for me, it's probably been the hardest part. 

Reflecting on it, I keep thinking about the age-old saying: "You never know what someone is going through. Be kind. Always." 

I needed that default kindness from others more than ever during my first trimester. 

4. Your uterus will start doing some very weird things.

My Google history is whack. 

I feel like everyone is familiar with what bloating feels like, and there's a lot of that during pregnancy. 

But not long after I found out I was pregnant, around week four to five, I started to feel this odd 'tugging' feeling in my tummy. 

It wasn't painful; it was just noticeable. Like a tiny little man was standing in my uterus and pulling at the walls. 

Apparently it's just normal growing uterus stuff, but I was definitely not prepared for that.

Towards the end of my first trimester, I started to get round ligament pain which for me feels like growing pain, up and down the sides of my abdomen. There's been a few days where I've had to take painkillers because it's been so intense. 

Once again, weird. I was not expecting that. 

5. Every woman's body is different and grows at different rates. Stop comparing.

I am a tall gal - 173cm tall to be exact. 

I was also very lean and fit when I fell pregnant. 

By the time I had reached 12 to 13 weeks, I barely looked pregnant. But I was obsessed with 'looking' pregnant, because women on the internet did.

I lost myself in TikTok hashtags like #8weekspregnant and #12weekspregnant and found myself getting worried because lots of those women had proper obvious bumps already. 

But as my doctor explained, I have a long torso and a baby therefore has a lot more room in my uterus before I have to start growing outwards. 

Week 13 on the left, verses week four on the right.  

6. Spotting during the first-trimester is terrifying, but relatively common.

This was perhaps one of my most worrying symptoms. I spotted on and off during my entire first trimester and it was terrifying. 

Every time I went to the bathroom I held by breath, and if there was spotting the anxiety levels increased. 

But in my first ever scan at seven weeks, the sonographer told me that alongside my (then tiny bean of a baby), was a hematoma of around the same size - which basically means a pool of blood. It was still there by my later scans. 

I had been told to expect spotting, and I did spot. It was always brown, which means 'old blood' that's been sitting in my uterus. 

My doctor said that because we knew where it was coming from, it was fine and nothing to worry about. 

I had always assumed bleeding during pregnancy equals bad. While you should always mention it to your doctor or provider, it's not always a bad thing. 

In fact, The Royal Women's Hospital says, "One in four women will bleed in early pregnancy, many of whom go on to have a healthy baby." 

7. You will pee more than you ever have in your life.

I. Can't. Stop. Urinating. 

Unfortunately, I didn't leave this pesky symptom in the first trimester. 

I used to be able to sleep through the night without a single pee break. Now, I get up three times minimum. At its peak, I was getting up six times a night. 

Apparently we can blame this on the pregnancy hormone hCG, which increases the blood flow to your pelvic area.

Sure, sounds important. But holy heck, it's annoying.

8. Pregnancy dreams are no joke.

A few nights before my 12 week scan, I had a dream that I was in the ocean with a killer whale. I can't remember what we were doing, but it was weird AF. 

I have been dreaming more than ever during pregnancy, and the dreams tend to ramp up before a doctor's appointment or a scan. 

The internet tells me it's very normal.

The Sleep Foundation says vivid dreams are the body's way of sorting through the many feelings and emotions that arise during pregnancy, with daytime fatigue a contributing factor for the increase in dream frequency. 

It makes sense, but sometimes I found myself waking up honestly perplexed as to where my brain conjured up such strangeness. And why there was a killer whale involved...

9. You feel different, about everything, immediately. 

I was expecting motherhood to change me. I wasn't expecting pregnancy - especially pregnancy so early on - to change me. 

It's all I think about. Nauseatingly. 

I wasn't expecting to feel so attached, so early on. 

I wasn't expecting to feel even closer to my partner. We already have a mortgage together. We're engaged. We've committed our lives to eachother, but this feels different. Stronger. More important. 

I feel differently about what I share on the internet. What I wear. How I talk. Who I spend my time with. 

Everything just feels... different. In the best, most exciting (while also mildly terrifying), way. 

But I will admit, it's nice to be through that first trimester. 

Everything feels a little lighter in the second trimester, and for me, a big part of that is being able to talk about it all.  

Tell me, what do you wish you knew about the first trimester before you experienced it? Let me know in the comments below. 

You can keep up to date with Gemma Bath's articles here, or follow her on Instagram, @gembath.  

Feature Image: Gemma Bath/Mamamia.

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