pregnancy

"I could not stand it." 13 women on how sex changed during pregnancy.

Your opinion on sex during pregnancy likely depends on how you feel or felt during your pregnancies. 

There is nothing less sexy than nausea, indigestion, swollen ankles, and pelvic girdle pain. Or maybe that was just me.

But for other women, pregnancy is the time to feel strong, glowy, and super sexy between the sheets. 

Mamamia heard from 13 different mums about how their changing bodies had both positive and negative effects on their experiences of sex during pregnancy, and how it affected their relationships.

1. No pressure sex.

"Sex during pregnancy was the best! Unprotected sex whenever you wanted; no pressure, no timing, no contraception because you can’t get more pregnant!" - Anna.

2. Extremely painful.

"With my first pregnancy, it was like ovulation week every week. With my second pregnancy, the desire was there but unfortunately I had been doing pelvic floor exercises wrong and literally overworked one side of my pelvic wall, making sex EXTREMELY painful. 

"My baby was also putting pressure on it so that didn’t help! This didn’t go away after I gave birth either, it took a women’s health physio and months of slowly getting back into it to 'fix' my vagina by simply having lots of gentle sex. A problem my husband happily helped with." - Tracie.

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3. Communication is everything.

"I have vulva varicose veins and sex during pregnancy has been difficult to navigate. My partner isn’t comfortable with a lot of touch or oral sex right now so this is something I’ve had to accept. I think it’s important as pregnant women to respect our partner’s right to decide when they are uncomfortable regardless of if those reasons hurt our ego or self image. I always do my best to ensure enthusiastic consent and check in with him throughout. Communication really is everything." - Bianca.

4. Masturbation and being on top.

"Penetration was okay, but it was hard to climax with him inside me. Not painful, just tired muscles. I found oral sex and hand jobs still fun. I had a really high sex drive for my first pregnancy and I would often take care of myself. In the late stages of pregnancy, I found I had to be on top. I just couldn’t breathe in any other position." - Amy.

5. From never enough, to no thanks.

"With my first pregnancy (a girl), I couldn’t get enough sex. With my second pregnancy (a boy), I could not stand it. In fact, I'm still over it and I have just weaned my son. My husband is hoping it comes back soon." - Kelly.

6. Just yuck.

"For my first two pregnancies, I was climbing the walls for it, but this time around it was the last thing on my mind. Yuck." - Natasha.

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7. Patient partner.

"I had two boys, and I could not stand the thought of sex for the whole pregnancy. My poor, patient husband! Once they were both out, it was back to normal." - Emma.

8. Vulva varicose veins.

"I had vulva varicose veins and absolutely no sex drive during either of my pregnancies. My husband was unimpressed with the lack of sex and 'intimacy' but was very understanding of the situation." -Tiffany.

9. It's a hard no.

"Pregnancy gave me vaginismus, so I had absolutely no sex during pregnancies whatsoever." - Sarah.

10. Husband not into it.

"Once my husband had seen a scan and knew there was a baby in there it was all over, he just couldn't do it. Even when I was 41 weeks pregnant and desperate for something to 'hurry it along' he couldn't muster it!" - Josie.

Listen to Mamamia's Sealed Section podcast and join Psycho-Sexologist Chantelle Otten as she answers all your sex and relationship questions... big and small. Post continues below.

11. Just get it happening!

"My husband struggled so much mentally with the concept of there being a baby inside me. It was even worse at the end when I was grumpy and wanting to do it to get things happening." - Sara.

12. The roller coaster of lust.

"It’s a roller coaster. You can be really into it one minute and really off it the next. And that might just happen mid-way through. Open communication is always key, and taking opportunities whenever they arise, however rare or often gets us through." - Caitlin.

13. A year of no orgasms.

"I had zero sex drive in my first two pregnancies (girls) and when we had sex, I could never orgasm as I could never get into the right position with my big tummy. Add the newborn and that’s about a year of no orgasms. With my third pregnancy (boy), I was much more into it in the second trimester and have somehow managed four to five orgasms in the pregnancy. It’s been really weird. But pregnancy and sex isn’t an easy thing!" - Katie.

Some names have been changed for privacy reasons. 

How did you feel about sex during pregnancy? Tell us in the comments below.

Feature Image: Getty.

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