real life

The Australia Schapelle Corby has returned to is very different to the one she left.

Schapelle Corby touched down at the Brisbane airport earlier today – and whether or not you believe in her guilt or innocence – I think we can all agree she’s in for a big adjustment period. It’s been 13 years since the 39-year-old was last in Australia and, boy, has a lot changed. Here’s a rundown of all the crazy things Corby missed in the last 13 years:

1. We’ve had a revolving door of Prime Ministers.

In the 13 years that Corby has been in Bali – Australia has had five Prime Ministers. When Corby and her boogie board left for Bali in 2004, John Howard was the PM. He remained in the top dog position until 2007, when Kevin Rudd won the election. However in 2010 Rudd was dethroned by Gillard, who was PM until 2013, when Rudd went in for round two.

Delighted to launch @miafreedman’s book today ‘Work, Strife, Balance’ at @mamamiaaus HQ in Sydney

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Later that year, the Liberal Party won the election and Tony Abbott become PM – and grown men from all around the country stopped wearing budgie smugglers. Abbott was replaced by Malcolm Turnbull, who is currently the PM (at the time of publication).

2. Avocados jumped the shark.

When Schapelle left Australia avocados were just another fruit. Now they’re the subject of international debates about housing affordability and a tool widely-used to gaslight an entire generation of Australians. Avocados also basically have a whole social media channel dedicated to them (which Schapelle has recently joined) and are being used in Frankenstein-esque experiments – which make even the most avo-crazy people just a little bit queasy.

3. Blockbuster died and Netflix was born.

When Corby was convicted we were still heading to our local Blockbuster on Friday night to rent an entire weekends worth of viewing (box sets of One Tree Hill, anyone?). Now most of the video stores around the country have closed down and a lot of people don’t even own a DVD player. Schapelle has returned to a strange land where we’re all streaming TV shows and obsessed with true crime.

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4. Reality TV took over our lives. 

Thirteen years ago not a single Australian was marrying someone on a reality TV show – and now it seems like that’s only way to get hitched.

Thank you @hiring_outfit for this amazing jumpsuit ????????

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And in 2004, the Kardashians didn’t even exist (well they did, but we didn’t have to hear about them). I’m sure the first thing Schapelle will do is catch up on 13 seasons of crying women eating packaged salads together.

Scott’s in the splash zone on #KUWTK . ???? ???? ????  TONIGHT at 9|8c, only on E!

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5. Our eyebrow game got so much stronger.

If you missed Schapelle’s trial, you were probably in your bathroom over-tweezing your eyebrows. Yep, when Schapelle was last down under we all had very thin eyebrows that look like they were permanently arched.

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what schapelle corby missed
Kinda like this. Image via Getty.

But now we're all growing, tinting and tattooing our brows - hoping to look like this.

Schapelle has returned to a strange parallel universe where the hair above your eyes is more important than the roof above your head.

6. Social media changed the way we live.

When Corby was last in Oz people were just eating breakfast and not telling anyone about it. I know, it's madness. Facebook was not yet a thing and we could never have imagined the role that Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and Snapchat were going to play in our lives - and how far people would go to get Insta-famous.

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APPLYING MAKEUP WITH A CONDOM?! The video is now on my youtube channel. ????????Link in my bio. _ After posting this video i found out that @lvixxen did the applying makeup with a condom first. Credit to her _ I came up with this idea because of that i love using a sponge. But it absorbs so much product. With using the condom around it HAHA it doesnt absorb any product and it applies super smooth! ________ @anastasiabeverlyhills brow pro palette (used Ebony) & modern renaissance @labelle_uk @amadea_dashurie matte liquid lipsticks Vamp Addict & Pink Latte & Nude Souffle (used on lips and eyes) @yourlashesofficial lashes Nasira @girlactik matte bronzer cabo @gorgeouscosmeticsofficial conceal it light natural @motivescosmetics shimmer powder Bombshell @zwitsalofficial baby powder @contourcosmetics all day spray @lorealmakeup infallible 24h foundation ___ Brushes @anastasiabeverlyhills 7B, A25, A3, A28, A23 @sigmabeauty F25, F66 @motivescosmetics powder @realtechniques sponge ____ @wakeupandmakeup @hudabeauty @eyelive4beauty @shimycatsmua @maryhadalittleglam @allmodernmakeup @slaysolutely @makeupforbarbies @thebeautybombb @nikkietutorials

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But now people are taking #belfies all over the world and posting tutorials about how to apply makeup using a condom. What a time to be alive. What else did Schapelle miss? 

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