Everyone has showstoppers in relationships. These are things that we just can’t look past when it comes to our mate. It’s a question I ask in every relationship learning lecture and session I do. To date, that amounts to 3,542 men and this is an aggregate view of their top five relationship showstoppers.
But first, let me just say that I am not sharing responses that touched on physical attributes.
Okay, so this isn’t a shock, at least it shouldn’t be. Men don’t want to feel like they are being taken advantage of. “I work hard, I do my best to provide, I want to know that she appreciates me.”–says men.
2. Woe is me mentality/emotions.
There are a couple of things here. Number one, men will wonder what they’re doing wrong if she is always in the dumps.
Number two, why does her lack of confidence always require me to swoop in and validate her beauty or intellect? It gets tiring.
Number three, men want simple and to them, life should be simple.
You’re having a bad day at work? That’s life.
You just don’t like your job? Get a new one.
You don’t like something your friend said? Why are they your friend?
We’re having issues and you want to talk about it? Make it factual and leave the feelings at the door.
Although ranking second in the overall list, this showstopper had the most animated feedback and explanation behind it. Men don't want women that constantly b*tch or complain, especially if they are not going to be solutions oriented. Of course, there is the reality that women don't always want a problem solved, they just want to be heard and to have their feelings validated.
3. Overly conversant.
This is really a matter of 'small talk' or 'frivolous' things versus 'substantive things'. To men, women can often get on a roll about things that simply aren't relevant...to them.