Last week we published a personal story by a woman who had an abortion. It generated hundreds of comments. You can read Penny’s story here. The reactions of our readers were varied, but almost all were reflective, personal and in some cases very profound. We tend to only hear two sides to this debate – but here, you’ll hear 14 very different reactions to one woman’s story about abortion…
By PENNY WILSON
1. The Christian pro-life view.
“Life is a gift from God and it is not our right to take it. We take precautions because we can control our family size.” (The author of this comment also said she didn’t believe in IVF or euthanasia).
2. The women who had abortions and didnt regret it.
“I had an abortion in my mid forties.I had grown up children. My husband was starting to talk about transition to retirement. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I chose abortion. No guilt. No regret.”
Another wrote: “When I had my abortion.…I could have easily worked it out. I was 28, I had a decent job, I was not in a serious relationship with the guy, but he had money and would have supported us. So why didn’t I keep the pregnancy? Because I don’t want be a mother. Simple as that. I have no desire to be a mother. I don’t enjoy small children. It would have given me a different type of lifestyle, one I didn’t want. I have absolutely no desire to be pregnant and need to break my career to birth a child to give away. Giving birth is my worst nightmare. Not everyone wants children. Not everyone wants to be pregnant and hand it over to someone else to raise. And that’s OK.”
3. The woman who didn’t have an abortion and regretted it.
“I regret not having an abortion every day. Having my child ruined my life. No social life, ruined my relationship, trapped me in a dead end job, depleted my savings, I don’t enjoy parenting her, she’s a difficult, shrieky and high needs child and I honestly wish I had an abortion. Don’t buy the ‘sunshine and huggies commercials’ rhetoric guys. Don’t do it.”
4. The woman who had an abortion and regretted it.
“I always felt I was coerced into having an abortion when I was 18. My mum told me I would ruin my life, my boyfriend then (& now husband) told me he didn’t want me to be the mother of his children and that he would leave me if I had our baby. I was completely deserted and had no support from anyone. I was then told that if I couldn’t have a baby without support from anyone then I shouldn’t be having a baby in the first place. I still don’t think I’ve forgiven myself for not being strong enough to do it by myself. I’m even more sad because I’ve been diagnosed with medically unexplained infertility. I said at the time I was pregnant ‘what happens if I can never fall pregnant again?’. Well now I’m living that life. I have a lot of self-acceptance soul searching to do.”
Another wrote: ” I have a friend who I supported through having an abortion and I know that when some years later she got married and miscarried her next pregnancy, she blamed herself, as if that was some sort of punishment for having an abortion.
5. A woman who can’t have kids herself but is still pro-choice.
“I desperately wanted children. We spent several years going through IVF because we wanted to become parents, and because so many odds were stacked against us. Friends would try to shield me from hearing about anyone who had abortions as I found it so hard to get pregnant, until I said “I commend that person!” glad you know what’s right for you and don’t just bring a child into the world cause you feel you HAVE to. You haven’t used it as an excuse to never work again and you haven’t ruined a childs life by bringing them into a world that has too many uncertainties, you are actually a more responsible person and I think you are amazing.”