Apparently we all want a partner who has *checks notes* daddy energy.

Do you want a partner who has 'daddy energy'

I think you might. 

As cringe as that sounds, the concept has been doing the rounds online after a TikTok video went viral. 

@kevinxpasco Do you agree?? The most attractive energy a guy can have… ⚡️⚡️ #relationshiptipsformen #daddyenergy #relationships #healthymasculine ♬ original sound - Kevin | Men’s Relationships

Content creator @Kevinxpasco refers to himself as a men's relationship and personal growth coach. His TikTok explaining what daddy energy is and how he believes it is the most attractive quality a guy can possess is now sitting at close to two million views. 

And if the comments are anything to go by, women agree BIG TIME. 

"Daddy energy... my most sought after characteristic in a man," one commented. 

"As someone who has amazing male role models in my life, I can concur with the daddy energy," said another. 

"Had a man who needed to sleep on the side of bed closest to the door so an intruder would get him before me…DADDY," another woman added. 

Basically, a daddy is a man who encompasses father-like qualities that makes him super hot. Think Paul Rudd, Pedro Pascal, Ryan Gosling, Idris Elba. These men don't actually have to have children, but they embody everything else that hot dads have.

According to Kevin however, a daddy isn't just a hot man we thirst after, it's a way of being.

He explains they need to be confident, protective and be able to create a safe environment. He says in hetero relationships, if a man has daddy energy, he won't only attract "women in general," but "the most high-quality, marriage material, most 'perfect' woman that exists." 


Watch: Mamamia confessions. My weirdest crush. Post continues below.

Video via Mamamia.

From the video alone, his explanation of daddy energy sounds a bit... cringe. 

However something about having a partner who embodies daddy energy sounds... appealing? Shouldn't we want to feel safe and protected with our partner?

The feminist in me says that I shouldn't want these things in a partner, I should want them in myself. 

And it's hard to look past the idea of wanting your partner to have the same qualities as... a father.

Personally, as weird as this sounds (and it's going to sound weird), I've never had a partner make me feel as safe and protected as my dad made me feel growing up. 

Driving me to places, checking in constantly, and being aware of my feelings are all things my dad did and still does. It's not just the big grand gestures to show how strong and manly they are, it's the little things like fixing that kitchen light that I didn't even know was broken, reminding me to do my taxes, or cleaning my car while I enjoy a glass of wine... photographic evidence below. 


What do you mean I'm a spoilt brat?

My dad has had such a distinct "I'll-take-care-of-it" role in my life that has never been replicated in any of my romantic relationships.

Similarly, some of my friends who didn't have a father figure in their life, also see the appeal of their partner encompassing daddy energy.

"If you haven't had a father growing up, in every situation, you have to think for yourself all the time. You have to think like a dad and you get tired. When I'm looking for a romantic partner, I always think 'God it would be nice for someone to fill that role for me, and I could let go of some of the mental load.' Because you haven't had it as a kid, you've always been doing it for yourself," one friend told me. 


It's important to consider that the daddy energy movement can flow into dangerous territory though. 

There have been many problematic hetero men such as Andrew Tate who claim to be life coaches to men in a way that absolutely degrades women. 

Listen to Em Vernem explain the concept of daddy energy on the Mamamia Out Loud podcast. Post continues below.

These news types of social media trending masculine energies like daddy, alpha, cocky etc. should always be looked at as an idea, not a gospel. 

I have a few friends whose partners have daddy energy and looking at it from the outside... it's weird. Their partners are so protective and caring towards my friends, they completely ignore everyone else around them. The 'daddies' will only ask their partner if they'd like a drink, or only direct the conversation to them or would only want to drive them home. These guys might come across as the dream man when you're dating them, but on the outside, they look rude and obsessive. 

Sometimes your partner isn't a 'daddy', he's just a d*ck. It's important to be able to tell the difference!

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

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